It's always amusing when mainstream media reports something that everyone is already aware of as if it's big news. Today, CNN announced that people often exchange sex for things or for services. Wow, what a stunning revelation. Men and women both. For thousands of years! Who knew?

Um, like everyone past puberty? And a lot of people before it, too, I imagine. I know I had it figured out when I was a kid. I don't know how sophisticated I would have been about articulating it, but I definitely had an instinctive grasp on the concept. When I was in sixth grade, Scotty Sanders wanted to kiss me. I told him he had to give me his Hostess cupcake - my mom was a health food type and never let us have stuff like that. So he did, and we went down behind the school cafeteria - which was the unofficial "kissing zone" at my Catholic grammer school - and I kissed him. Did I want to kiss him anyway? Oh, yeah, definitely. But I also wanted the cupcake, and I knew that I could have both, so why not?

That, by the way, was my first kiss.