Dispatches from the Front

So, it's Saturday afternoon, and I'm at Kinkfest, and I know what you’re all thinking. You're thinking, "Roman, Matisse – what happened with the Weakest Kink Contest!"

Well, I don’t have a lot of time to write, being as I am a leather conference where every minute is jammed with workshops and parties and hanging out with friends and so on. And Roman is off vending his cute little butt off, since everybody wants to buy his rope - I know he has no time.

But… a sneak preview. We did indeed choose a winner. And the winner was…(insert drumroll here)…Contestant Number 2, the lovely and talented Krystal! She fulfilled her final challenge most beautifully, and I’m glad she won. She’s a sweet, lovely girl. And Roman and I had a very, very good time being very, very mean to her.

Calliope was a worthy contestant and we’re glad she played. At her request, we won’t be discussing her final challenge and the situation surrounding that, but she’s a great person and we wish her well.

So, after we’re back from our weekend – and slightly recovered – Roman and I will be writing in some detail about the completely charming and nasty scene we did with Krystal, and we have some pictures and some video footage, too. (Not of the scene itself, no cameras allowed in Kinkfest dungeons.)

Meanwhile, I think a hot shower and a brief nap are the next indicated step for me - I have another dungeon party to attend tonight, and I’ll have to look and feel my best…

So it’s Friday, and Max and I are in Portland gearing up for a weekend of kinky debauchery at Kinkfest. And that includes the climax – so to speak – of The Weakest Kink contest.

Roman and I have had a lot of fun with the contest - everyone who participated was great. (Except perhaps that “Lola” person…) So whatever happens, I’m sure it’ll be a good time. And tonight, Roman and I have one final challenge to determine the winner, which – oh no! – I’m not going to reveal here. Sorry, can't ruin the surprise for the last two contestants. As you know, it’s down to Calliope vs. Krystal. We’ve come up with a really charming little game to play with them, so stay tuned for a full report on that later this weekend.

Meanwhile, I intend to shop, schmooze, flirt, play, and have some rowdy sex. Bye!

Edited to add: Oh, and of course - the new column and the Kink Calendar are up, so enjoy those...

Bizarre Bazaar

Ring ring!

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi, do you sell items?

You're probably thinking, "what kind of items?" But I know what he means – he means used panties. He might also mean used hose, or socks, or worn shoes. But they usually say that specifically if that's what they mean. So I'm guessing he means panties.

I have nothing against the idea of selling someone my worn underwear - in fact, I think it's sort of charming. The idea that something which has intimately touched me - or, by extension, any woman - automatically becomes a symbol of womanhood, almost a sacred object, worthy of sexual deification and worship...Well, I find that completely appropriate.

But there's a problem with the implementation: I don't wear panties. I mean, occasionally I do, if I'm wearing a short skirt. I have a dozen plain black g-strings for this purpose. But the rest of time, I'm going commando.

I used to wear underwear, but a number of years ago it just started to seem unnecessary. And then there's the fact that none of my lovers have a lingerie fetish. Max doesn't care anything about it – he especially dislikes bras, and would just as soon I didn't wear those, either, although I often do just because it's more comfortable than bouncing around. Roman doesn't get schwinged by lingerie either. Like Max, he has the, "Yeah, that's nice, now take it off so I can get to you" attitude.

Thus, the only time I wear sexy lingerie is with my favored clients who prefer that look to the fetish-wear, and who often buy me the things they'd like to see me in. There is something sort of extra-kinky about ruthlessly tormenting someone while wearing a lacy pink camisole and panties from Cosabella.

But I wouldn't want to break up that set, so instead, let's see if this guy happens to want a used black thong.

Me: Well – I suppose I could, yes. What were you looking for?
Caller: Um, panties. White cotton panties, with the full bottom. Or pantyhose, the kind of thicker, heavier kind. And, um, really worn ones, you know?

Oh, wow, I'm not dissing his fetish, but – no way. There's no way I'm going to wear big ole full-bottom panties or heavy, itchy support panty-hose long enough to qualify as "really worn". (Not for what I imagine he wants to pay for them.)

Me: You know, sweetheart, those just aren't things I wear in my normal life, and so I don't have anything like that lying around. And I don't really want to wear them, so… If you liked the finer, silkier stockings, or g-strings, I could maybe do that, but…
Caller: Yeah, but – it's the smell I really like, and those things don't hold the scent very well.
Me: I understand. Sorry.
Caller: Yeah, okay, bye.

A reasonable question, but not a fetish I can easily cater to…

Some Random Thoughts

It really makes me laugh when I go to a fetish website that bills itself as "real, hardcore fetish" and all the (sic) "femme doms" are a) wearing collars and leather wrist cuffs and b) holding their whips in such a way that if they were to actually swing the thing, they'd hit themselves in the face.

Heard from a submissive: "You know, there just aren't many greeting cards that are designed for a submissive to give to a dominant." Hallmark, there's a demographic calling you.

According the Wikipedia, I'm a BDSM authority. (See footnote number one.) How charming. So stop saying "dom-may", all of you.

I think The Encyclopedia of Sex is getting some very bogus entries. Abe Lincoln? Patrick Cook? Yeah, right.

Nice page about public etiquette for submissives.

I want some of this stuff…

I also want one of these. I saw a leather one over the weekend that looked (and smelled!) so nice, but I think this might be more practical for my purposes.

Recent good reads: Blink: The Power Of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. The author of "The Tipping Point" is back with a very interesting book about a brain function he calls, "our adaptive unconscious: a 24/7 mental valet that provides us with instant and sophisticated information to warn of danger, read a stranger, or react to a new idea. "
Essentially, it's about how people make snap decisions, and why some people are better at it than others. Since, in my professional life, I am often required to size up someone in an moment and make a yes/no decision about whether I want to deal with them, I found this fascinating. Not quite as essential as The Gift Of Fear to the Sex Worker's Reading List, but I burned right through it just the same.

Now I must quit stalling and go do what I ought to be doing…

The Family (Jewels) Album

One of my favorite boys likes to have photos taken when we play, and he always gives me such pretty pictures. Here's one - but before you go look, read the description he wrote of what you'll see. (Big image, if you're on dial-up. And very, very not work-safe.)

"I call it chopstick ball torture or cbt, not to be confused with CBT. I think it is an exquisite form of sexual torture. The chop sticks form and separate the balls to create a lot of pressure in the scrotum. They form a lever with the balls at the fulcrum. Slight movements of the chopsticks increases the pressure and pain in the scrotum. It is only recommended for an expert Dominatrix, such as you."

What a wonderful man, to let me do such terrible things to him.

Last night: Workshop was great, party was great…Thanks to everyone who came and contributed.

Note to my clients: I will be available tomorrow and Wednesday this week, and then I leave for Kinkfest. We’re traveling home on Monday, so I will be booking appointments for Tuesday through the week.

I've had a number of people from Portland call me and ask if I'm booking appointments there while I'm in town, and the answer is no. Sorry, but I'll be a very busy girl all weekend.

Roman posted the latest update in The Weakest Kink Contest, so check that out if you haven't already.

Amusing blogs for today: The Call Girl. Quite interesting...

And an Australian guy's rules for sex worker's clients, who are apparently called "punters" down under. While some of the structure is different because it's legal there, a lot of the suggestions seem to line up with mine. Tire-kickers, indeed.

Today I go to the gym, get a facial, take care of some boring business stuff, and then sit down and write a column. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, but I'm considering something along the lines of: "How To Tell If Someone Is A Good Dominant". What do ya'll think about that?

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