Friday, April 29, 2005

Thursday, April 28, 2005

The Sticky Question
An Instructional Tale....

Once upon a time, a young man came to see me for the first time. He was slightly nervous, which is only natural, and I tried to make him feel at ease. He told me he wanted a foot-worship session, so we spent an hour together primarily engaged in that pleasant activity. I'd been wearing my spike-heeled thigh-high boots for over two hours straight already, I told him, and so my feet were quite ready for some sensual attention. We also did a little soft flogging and some bondage, but our time together was primarily about his mouth on my feet.
But I love having my feet kissed and touched, so I enjoyed myself, and it was, ahem, quite clear that he was enjoying himself also. And at the end of the hour, well – let's just say he demonstrated his pleasure fully.

So that was all very nice. But then afterwards, as I was walking him towards the door, he stopped and said, "So, um, can I ask you a question?"

I smiled. "Yes, what is it?"

He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "I don't wanna be rude or anything."

I didn't like the sound of that. In another setting, I would have known instantly what he was going to ask me, because I've heard it before. But asking me The Question wouldn't make any sense in this context. I waited for him to continue.

"So, like – have you been tested?"

Tested? I thought. For what, athlete's foot?

Look, I came of sexual age in the time of AIDS. I have no experience of a sex life that didn't include that risk. Other STDs are serious, too. So it's not like I don't understand worrying about such things. I'm right there, baby.

I take my maintaining my health – including my sexual health - quite seriously. I get tested on a regular basis, and I've also been vaccinated against hepatitis, which many people aren't, although everyone should be. And I've done something equally important: I've educated myself about what STDs are out there and how one can, and cannot, catch them - something this boy didn't seem like he had done.

I raised one eyebrow and said, slowly, "Honey – you kissed my feet. You're not going to get an STD doing that."*

He shrugged. "Yeah, well, I was just wondering…" He looked at me, clearly still wanting an answer.

"All right...Yes, I've been tested, and I'm a completely healthy person. But you know what? The smart time for you to ask someone that question is before you do anything with them. Because what are you going do if I tell you no, I haven't been? And what would you do now if I actually told you I had an STD? Not that anyone would tell you. Why should they? If they're immoral enough to knowingly expose you to an STD, they're sure as hell immoral enough to lie about it."

I was talking about it with Miss K later, and she shook her head. "Yeah, I hate it when they do that, it scares me. Even when it's before we do anything. It makes me wonder how careless they'd be with someone if she convinced them she was 'clean'. I always say something like, "Yes, I've been tested, and I'm perfectly healthy. But you know what – you shouldn't trust me. You shouldn't take some strange person's word for something as important as this. You need to decide what level of risk is okay for you, and you should be careful and take precautions. And if you cannot afford to take any risk whatsoever, you should not be doing this, because even with precautions, nothing is 100% guaranteed."

"I see what you're saying," I said. "But still, part of what annoyed me about this situation was that he waited until afterwards. I hate it when someone comes to see me, asks me to do something, and then afterwards freaks out about what he's done and tries to act like it was all my doing, and he didn't really want it. I think asking that question afterwards is as much about projecting some generalized anxiety as it is about STDs."

She grimaced. "Yeah, the not-taking-responsibility thing is bad. I don't recall ever forcing someone to go down on me at gunpoint. If you decide to do that, it's your choice."

"Amazing how someone's perspective changes after they've had their orgasm, isn't it?"

* Medical note: I am aware that while it would be highly, highly unusual, it's not flat-out impossible for someone to catch something from foot-kissing. Hepatitis, for example, can live outside a person's body for some time, and if I'd somehow gotten hep germs on the skin of my feet, he could have licked them off and...
But realistically, I think you're in more danger from unwashed fruit, sticky public-restroom doorknobs or food handlers with dirty fingers.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

You know how I said sex work had busy weeks and slow weeks? This would be a busy one. So while I'm off making hay, enjoy these kinky links...

A story sent to me by blog reader Lief : Porn Club at UW. How delightful.

Carol Leigh, aka The Scarlot Harlot, is teaching "Whore College" in San Francisco. That woman rocks.

I haven't had time to look over this "slave training" site, but I have seen references to it on some BDSM discussion lists I'm on. If anyone with time to kill wants to scope it out and give me their two cents, I'm listening.

And in keeping with the educational theme for the day, I remembered lately that my friend Cleo DuBois does teach classes in how to become a pro domme. Cleo is a charming woman and a well-respected dominant, and while I haven't met the co-instructor Sybil Holiday, if Cleo thinks she's good, that's all I need to know. Aspiring mistresses, go here.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

More Pictures…

Because I'm too busy to write. Some of these are quite innocent, some are art-nudes and one is rather kinky. Enjoy...

The Veil
Veil 2
Waiting By The Tracks
Beautiful Back
Nude in an Empty Room
Nude with Mask
In The Cage

Monday, April 25, 2005

Tips For Sex Workers

When you start working in a new place, keep your head down and your mouth shut around your co-workers for a little while, until you spy out the lay of the land. Every multi-person working environment has its little hierarchies and customs. Try not to fuck with them first crack out of the box, because it'll take your co-workers longer to learn to trust you.

Giving a client a sob story to elicit money is usually a bad idea. It doesn't always work, and he almost certainly will not want to see you again, because he wants to feel good and you'll just be a downer.

Sex work has busy weeks and slow weeks. Make hay while the sun shines, but don't max yourself out for more than a week or two at most. You'll burn out.

If you think you've discovered a new dodge or angle on an illegal form of sex work that will prevent you from being arrested – you're wrong. Whatever it is, it's been done. It's all been done. Structure your business any way you want. But you'll have to just take your chances like everyone else, because you won't be fooling anyone.

If you actually fire a client, do not take him back, no matter how much money he offers you.

It's nice to refer clients to other ladies, but be aware that if she burns him, he'll come whining to you about it. And vice versa.

On the other hand, if you discover someone you thought was your regular is also seeing other workers, don't have a hissy fit about it. It's undignified and you'll alienate either one or both of them. And that doesn’t put any money in your pocket.

You can't give someone an experience if they won't accept it. Some clients will not allow themselves to have too good of a time, no matter what you do. That's their choice, and you may not understand why, but there it is. Don't lose sleep over it.

Avoid giving your co-workers advice about their personal love-lives.

If a woman doesn't post her prices in some public place, like an ad or a website, don't ask her how much she charges. (Unless you'd like to hire her yourself.) It's tacky.

A sweet personality and good customer-service skills will get you as much repeat business as a boob job. And you won't have to wait til your stitches come out.