From The Mailbag

HELLO , I HOPE YOU CAN HELP ME . I'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT . I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT WHERE I CAN GO TO HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME ( EVERYDAY , ANYWAY) I HAVEN'T HAD SEX WITH A WOMEN ( OR ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT MYSELF ) FOR 12 YEARS !!!! I'M VERY TIRED OF MASTERBATING AND PORN . I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE !!! I
AM WILLING TO TRY ALMOST ANYTHING -- ANY SUGESTIONS YOU HAVE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED !!! VERY SINCERELY , .....

Well, he's direct, you can say that for him…But I'm not sure if he thinks there's some mythical Never-Never Land where people fuck all the time, or if he's asking me for the address of a brothel, or what.

Hello sicko, why dont you stop telling yourself that you are worth more than any normal woman. By playing your lil dominatrix games. what a coverup such total bullshit as i have never read in my life, you must call me this you must respond to me in this way. fuck all that crap. I cant believe you get people to pay you for that. These people must all be weak and stupid to let you control them in any way shape or form. No I wont sign my name, and I dont care if you like it or not. your just another stupid female like all the rest no matter what you think of yourself, I beleive somebody has a god complex dont we??. Well here is some advice-GET OVER YOUR DAMM SELF. dont bother trying to find me cause you wont.

Believe you me, buddy, I'm not going to bother trying to find you. I'm guessing none of the rest of us stupid females will either. Get ready to masturbate for twelve years.

Dear Mistress Matissa,
I am in love with you. You are my type.In other words you are the lady of my dreams. You are very beautiful.
I know that you receive lots of e-mail from other people..
I just want to tell you my feelings.
I am sorry for taking from your time.
best regards,
Boots lover.

Pointless, really – but rather sweet just the same.

My name is X and I would like to know if you sell videos? I am into the following:
I am looking for a lady spanking a short tiny man over her knees while seated on straight backed armless chairs. A traditional domestic role play scene
* I am looking for a big height differential and a superior amazon component to the scene.
* i am also looking for videos that feature these same tiny men dangling helplessly over the knees of the girl with their legs off the ground while over the knee of the girl
* I also prefer to see the lady dressed in regular clothes spanking a naked man
* I also like the domestic role play themes(teacher/student) etc...
Do you have videos like this or can you do a custom video? Thank you for your attention to my query...

Well, I'm told there are a fair number of midgets living here in Seattle – I'm sure at least one of them might be willing to work as a fetish actor. But still - I'm only five-foot-five, and I just don't think I can pull off the Amazon thing.

My name is X and i am a submissive man. i have been a passing gas sniffer for over 20 years for beautiful GODDESSES like yourself. i have been able to amuse a few MISTRESSES with this service. i would love to amuse you also your HIGHNESS as you are so very beautiful and deserve a good gas sniffer. i apologise if i have offended your HIGHNESS but if you might be interested please e-mail…

Another guy with very specific tastes - so to speak. But not a fetish I'm interested in exploring...

Dear Mistress:
You have a very nicely done web site. I have a few thoughts that I would like to run by you. Being a dominitrix is actually a very submissive thing for a woman to do. You are fulfilling mens fantasies by providing them with the speech patterns, treatments, objects, and fetishes that they desire. You may enjoy this but that is only because you are ultimately serving the submissives who are the ones who are really in control. You are presenting your body in an objectifying and degrading manner. Selling yourself as a mere sex object who exists to please men.
I do not mean this as an insult, I am interested to get your response to these assertions.

Yeah, there's a certain brand of guys who always try this line on me. The fact that in my world of kink, submissives actually have the ability to ask for (and recieve) types of play they like seems to upset them. They're usually self-described "natural" tops. That means they just popped out of the womb knowing how to dominate women, so they disdain things like learning actual BDSM technique, or thinking about how they can enhance the experience for the bottom. It also means they're lazy bastards who use being a "dominant" as an excuse to disregard their partner's needs.
The rest of it is standard anti-sex-work crap. And I love how he decides that I'm being degraded. Silly little me, I thought that would be my decision. But I'm sure he thinks I'd be better off barefoot and pregnant with his child - except I'd put poison in his coffee.
So yes - I'm sure you'd like me to give my attention to you and your ass-ertions. But even though I'm really so submissive, I'm not going to give it to you...

An Incident

I related this story to Max over dinner and we had an interesting chat about it…

So, Miss K and I have just finished dinner at Hana, as we do every week, and afterwards I decide to walk upstairs to the bathroom, which is not in the restaurant proper, but actually in the rear of the little shopping complex where Hana is located.
As I walk up the stairs, I see a man, who'd been sitting near us in the restaurant, walking up the stairs about six steps ahead of me, presumably heading to men's room. He turns and looks back at me, and sort of grins.
"I saw you on Saturday," he said.
Now, I guess immediately what he's talking about. He means, "I was at the Wet Spot on Saturday night and I saw you there." I was indeed there, and while I have zero memory of seeing him, I believe that he saw me.
But for some reason, I don't like it that he's said this to me. I've said it before – I can be a snooty bitch at times, especially if I'm being addressed by a strange man in a way I find, well, slightly presumptuous.
I raise one eyebrow in a way that anyone who's ever bottomed to me would recognize. "Really?" I say, coolly.
"Yeah," he says, staring at me.
I look away and shrug slightly to indicate I don't quite take his meaning, and more subtly, that I don't particularly wish to. If he was smart, he'd stop now.
"You know – over in Magnolia," he says instead.
His coyness irritates me further. We're alone on the staircase, so why play word games? Since he's obviously not going to let it go, I say, "At the Wet Spot."
"Yeah, yeah." He's still staring at me avidly – it's almost a leer - and he's not an attractive sight. He's a rather unkempt-looking man who resembles no one as much as Jack Black (the "School of Rock" guy) with less hair, and rather less charm. There's some vague taste of that childhood sing-song, "I know what you did" in his tone and his gaze, and I'm touched by a tiny flicker of awareness that yes, we actually are alone on this staircase. I’m not truly worried, but the animal-instinct part of me makes a few quick what-would-I-do-if? calculations.
I say nothing further and my arctic stare seem to finally communicate to him that I don't want to be having this conversation, because he starts up the stairs again. As I reach the landing behind him, he turns back again and makes a final remark to me – something about how maybe he'll see me again sometime. I've forgotten the exact phrasing. I make some noncommittal noise and turn away.

Later I asked myself – why did that displease me so? I'm not trying to say I shouldn't have felt the way I did. I think I'm completely entitled to my feelings, and to act on them almost any way I want, within the bounds of basic civility. And while I was definitely frosty to that guy, I wasn't openly rude.

But I'm trying to isolate what, precisely, I didn't like. It could have been as simple as the fact that he's a strange man, and he's approaching a woman alone, not quite on the street but damn close, to discuss his having seen her at a fetish event. It looks like a clumsy attempt at a pick-up. I mean – why else do it? What's the motivation?

Max asked me, "So, what if it had been a woman?"

Good question. I probably still wouldn't have liked it, because I generally don't talk to strangers in public places. (Strangers at, say, a party are quite different. There are cases where "the roof constitutes an introduction". That doesn't apply here.) But I probably would have been somewhat less frosty to a woman, because it's quite rare, in my experience, for women to almost-leer in the way this man was. I'd probably think she was a bit gauche, but harmless.

"Okay," said Max, "what if he'd been a really attractive man?"

Oh, that's a tough one, because I don't generally do lust-at-first-sight. You usually have to hang around a little while before I start to get schwinged by you. But I have seen people of both genders who immediately made me think, "Oh yeah…"

But I think I probably still would have stiffened up, because to me, personality is more important than looks. And if he had the kind of personality that make him feel it was cool to initiate a conversation with a stranger about something as relatively intimate as her presence at a BDSM club, well, I'd probably cease to find him attractive.

I'm interested to hear what you other ladies thing think. What would you think about this? And what would you have done?

I know I haven't written much for a few days. I'll do a real entry either later today or tomorrow...Until then, linky goodness!

Apparently Max could have Angelina Jolie for his slave..."I've never been tied up," she says. "I have a feeling the person that does it will be The One. I think that's what I'd like." (But who knows what she'd be like to live with, so maybe it's just as well she doesn't take his calls.)

Holy shit - my notoriously conservative hometown paper, The Tampa Tribune, has actually endorsed Kerry for President. It's the first time in forty years they've endorsed a Democrat! Will wonders never cease?

I know someone who's a Jack Black fan. I wonder if they've seen this: The Jack Black Jerk-Off Tape!

And I was amused to find myself quoted in this scholarly paper on sado/masochism. I should email the author and find out just where it's been...

I'm writing a column, and thus I lack the time to write here today. Instead, since we're on a roll with this picture thing, here's an antidote to yesterday's scariness.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Why, Matisse, that's a completely gratuitous shot of two women's behinds." But I say, "No, that's a picture of me checking in with my co-model and submissive-for-the-shoot, Madison." See, I was just being a good dominant and making sure she was okay with all the stimulation I was dishing out. (Note the cane in my hand.) It wasn't until I heard the flashes pop behind me that I realized what a little tableau we must be presenting. It's often the unscripted images you get from a photo shoot that wind up being the most interesting.

Okay, you asked for it, you got it – a page of cock-and-ball torture photos - with just one pussy shot. I had taken down some of my old gallery pages, so this is a page I just threw up last night. It’s not fancy, but you may find it…educational, at the very least.

Now, before you click, be aware: I didn't bother with thumbnails, so it's a graphics-heavy page. If you don't have high-speed internet, it'll take a little while to load.

Obviously, it is not work-safe.

And it's pretty intense, so if you think it's gonna flip you out, don't go look. I mean, if you're reading this blog on a regular basis, you're probably not too-too squeamish, but if you just got here – well, you've been warned.