Letter From a Reader

(Greetings and nice compliments...) I have a question for you about toy care. I recently got my dream paddle. It's a leather paddle (ping-pong paddle shape, but larger) with sharp spikes in a circle pattern with two spikes at the bottom. Because of the amazing spikes its nearly impossible to have a satisfying spank from it without my skin being punctured and blood becoming involved. I really enjoy it, but am concerned when it comes to safety. I know you have spanked people with many different types of objects so I was curious how you clean the toys if blood is involved. Because of the blood should the paddle be a me-only toy (i.e. I can sterilize it)? Should my partner use gloves while using the paddle on me?

Now, I always get uneasy answering questions like this because I'm not a medical person. My answer would have been, "There's no way to truly sterilize a toy like this. So no, don't use it on anyone else." But I decided to consult a couple of fellows I know who are medically-trained kinksters. Here's what they said.

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Dr. Moreau: I haven't actually done a complete search of the medical literature to ascertain whether any randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled, multi-center studies or meta-analyses have been done to evaluate the spiked leather paddle as potential vector of infectious disease, but off hand, I'd say, "yes, it's a one-person toy."

I'd say that gloves or not is a matter of the personal boundaries of those involved. Body fluid contact is probably inevitable to some degree for the hand holding the paddle. If gloveless body fluid contact is not part of this relationship, then don't go gloveless.

Dr. Strangelove: I'm sure this isn't a surprise, but the paddle in question can't be truly sterilized, at least not with the equipment your writer has access to. While the metal can be cleaned, a porous leather surface would be considered to be potentially infectious even after being wiped down with alcohol...

Regarding gloves...I would treat this like any other play that might involve fluid contact. If your partner would put a needle in you without gloves, then go ahead and let him/her spank you without gloves. If on the other hand you practice barrier use in all your other play habits, it might be wise to extend them to this toy.

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So there you go. An opinion, and then a second opinion, can't do better than that.

Wednesday Night: Well, I was trying to write and post a different update this evening, with kinky letters and stuff, but I was utterly stymied by a flurry of technical difficulties. Everything from software glitches causing desktop crashes, to the network being wonky, to directories hiding and then popping up again. It's making me crazy.

Obviously I have offended the Tech Gods in some way, so I should just quit and go to bed. I have two new books, and I feel confident that I can operate them without any technical difficulties, so I will...

One of them is Your Brain Is (Almost) Perfect: How We Make Decisions, by Read Montague. My brain doesn't feel very perfect at the moment, it feels sleepy and confused. But the book looks interesting.

The other is Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, by Mary Roach. Ms Roach is one of the coolest and funniest non-fiction authors around. When I grow up, I want to write as well as Mary Roach.

But right now I think I'll just read her.

Notes On Various Topics

First of all: wow. Obama seems to have gotten the Democratic nomination. Historic stuff, indeed. I hope he wins in November. And I can't wait to see who he picks for his VP.

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Closer to home: if you direct your eyes to the sidebar, you’ll see a heading that says What Am I Doing Now? I’m Twittering, that’s what I’m doing. All the drama and excitement of my daily life can be delivered, as it happens, to your wireless device of choice! Act now!

I trust you can all imagine me saying that in a tone well-laced with irony. But yes, you can sign up to “follow” me, or you can just come by here and read my mini-updates.

However, I need some CSS style help for this. I don’t like the way the updates look, they don’t stand out on the blog page. I want a little box, with some padding and a border, and a different colored background, to make them more separate.

I actually want something like Minx’s little box, here. (I asked her, but she can’t remember where the code came from. She was an early-adopter.) I think the background should be a paler green, or maybe cream. So I’m hunting for a widget that will generate that code. If you know of one, feel free to drop me a note.

It’s been suggested to me that the whole blog needs to be redesigned. I don’t know, perhaps it does. I myself don’t care at all about blogs looking all fresh and new - I’m there for the content, not the trendy page layout. And I hate pages that are too complex, hard to navigate, and full of distracting/annoying little animated whizbots and mouse-overs. It’s a blog, not a video game – keep it simple is my philosophy.

Still, I should consider a design update, because the page is getting pretty full. I’d prefer more white-space, I think it’s nicer to the eye. I do actually like the basic design of the whole Poly Weekly page, I’d do something like that. I’d make the central column wider, but keep the nice neat color-divisions between the posts and the static content. Maybe I’ll go look at the Blogger template page and see what they got.

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Social life: I’m planning on going to the women’s party at the Wet Spot Friday, and I hear some other mavericks and wild women will be there as well. If you’re there, come say hi to me. If you’re a cute, sane, and single boi/butch, definitely come say hi and I’ll introduce you to my gorgeous, sane, and single best friend, Miss K.

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And an update on corsets: in the wake of the where-to-buy query I answered last week, a helpful reader sent me this note…

Dear Mistress Matisse:

Not sure what the person who wrote you was looking for precisely, regarding corsets, but here are two options I've personally purchased and enjoyed, that are ...well, not *inexpensive*, but certainly are as corsets go.

If she wants something custom built, I can recommend www.meschantes.com. Most of their styles are just under $250, and if you troll ebay, sometimes they have them (still custom, not yet made) a bit cheaper. Obviously, this takes a bit of time to be made, but is well worth it.

If she's interested in an underbust corset, a very inexpensive (relatively) but well made (I have two) option is www.timeless-trends.com. Not custom, but I don't know where else you'll get a steel-boned corset that cheap. Certainly I've never seen leather ones that cheap anywhere else, and I love mine!

Anything to help a fellow poor corset lover!

Thank you for the resources!

I am busy being me, and writing a column.

But please be entertained by this post a pal of mine wrote, with his tongue thrust so far into his cheek that he probably should have lubed it, about a scene he witnessed recently between two women I know, who are both noted for Having No Respect For Proper BDSM!

This is why I love Seattle kink scene. We take nothing seriously. We are mavericks, yahoos, barbarians. We do not care about the One True Way, and we think True Dominate Masters are twits. Around here, women take turns sticking needles in each other and then laughing manically. (Video clip, has sound, not work-safe, not pompous-prat-safe.)

I can be intense and serious in my dungeon when that’s how I’m feeling, but I’m so glad being kinky doesn’t mean laughter and silliness must be banished from the room.