Hey, clever readers - give to me your vast store of knowledge about lighting. Because it may be that what I want already exists, and my Google-fu has failed me.

What I want is a light box I can install in my wall. I don't mean to display images on, I mean to use as a light source. Let me explain what I think I'm going to do, and you tell me if you've seen anything like this...

In my lighting fantasy, Jerry The Super-Contractor cuts a rectangle out of the sheetrock of my wall. Size? Oh, just say roughly 24 inches tall by 18 across. That’s just off the top of my head, the size is flexible. Not much smaller than that, although bigger could be cool. Height? Oh, say starting from slightly above my eye level.

In the open space, we wire in sockets for several standard light bulbs. Wattage TBD, but something like three 60w bulbs, so around the 180w total. On a dimmer switch, naturally.

I’m fond of the warmth of incandescent bulbs but I suppose I might be talked into color-corrected, non-flickering fluorescents.

Over these bulbs, we place white fabric, of the type that is used for lampshades and photographer’s softboxes, so it’s designed to withstand heat. It would be intended to lay flat, flush to the wall, not protruding at all.

Obviously I need to be able to open this up and change the bulbs. So the fabric – the shade, essentially – would need to be on some sort of frame. Perhaps we might frame in the hole and then design the shade-frame to fit snugly into that hole. I’m open to ideas about that, as long as it works and looks cool.

In sum: I want a large soft light source to wash the area, and one that's recessed into the wall so that it's flat. I want to clear up the floor space of the various floor lamps I’ve got going on now. (Do not speak of overhead lights to me, overhead lights are evil.)

Can you visualize what I'm saying? I can make these if need be, but I have no desire to re-invent the wheel if that’s unnecessary. Has anyone seen anything like this already made and commercially available? I’ve looked and looked and seen nothing like this.

A new podcast! In which Monk and I talk about sex work busts in Seattle and what not to do if you're operating a store-front sex work business. We're such entrepreneurs ourselves that we're fascinated by other forms of sex-oriented businesses, and how they succeed or fail. We'd do a great sexy-business-advice radio show... except that we're too busy running our various businesses.

Have a lovely weekend!

So I'm mostly all about shopping for stuff for the house right now, since the Great Remodel of '09 is soon to begin. Thus, most of my recent shopping bookmarks look like this, or this, or this.

But I am thinking about kinky stuff too. I've long wanted one of these, for example, and have had trouble finding one that was sized for a MAN and not a five-foot-five, hundred-and-twenty pound woman. I'd need to go find a looooong hose extension for a vacuum, though, because I don't want the dang thing roaring away next to me while I play. I imagine I'll be in Home Depot-esque places a lot the next few weeks/months, that seems like an opportunity.

This, however... I don't know, part of me thinks it's very ingenious and cleverly made. But it's also sort of disturbing, somehow. I suppose that really, it is simply the equivalent of a strap-on dildo, and god knows I'm a big fan of those.

But there's just something a little squick-making about these images. I think I'd respond to it better if they'd pictured it ON someone. Or even a dummy. As it is, there's just something very Silence of The Lambs about the photos. Do men feel that way when they look at hyper-realistic dildos? I had not thought so, but...

Nonetheless, I'm sure it will sell like crazy. Not my fetish, but just fine if you're into it.

Complete and unedited text of a recent email...

Subject: Dominators
Mistress Matisse,

Do you know of any men who dominate women?

I saw a video of women getting her vagina spanked and thought it would be fun to do.

Are there women who like to get that done to them?
I thought you would know.
Thank you.
PS Of all the dominatrixes I have seen on the internet you are the most powerful looking.

Even after all these years, emails like this puzzle me. I mean, how can this man have found ME on the internet, and yet not have found any evidence of male dominants? Is he asking me how to find submissive women in real life? Or does he want more female-submissive porn? Or is he just asking me to confirm the existence of a species?

He's being polite, so I'd help him if I could. But I don't even know where to start with questions like this, except to be absolutely literal.

So: Yes, I know men who dominate women. Lots of them.

Yes, I am certain there are women who like their pussies spanked.

And - thank you.

Hope that's helpful to you in some way I don't comprehend...

Happy Inauguration Day!

This is a very historic day! And today, I am very happy and hopeful about the future of America! Yay, President Obama!

A few points of information about my schedule...

I have time available Wednesday of this week, so if you've been trying (and failing) to schedule with me, talk to me.

EDIT: Looks like I have some time Friday too.

***

About Evening Appointments: In the past, I have not been open to evening sessions - meaning, not after 8pm or so. The reasons for that rule were were two-fold.

One was my experience that, as the saying goes, "Nothing good happens after midnight". By that I mean: daytime sessions with new people are less likely to turn out badly than nighttime sessions with new people. Thus, no nighttime sessions equals less chance of bad experiences.

But things have changed since I made that rule. I almost never see new people anymore, so why not see my favored boys at night, if they ask nicely?

My other reason - which will still hold true to some degree - is that most other people I care about work in the daytime and socialize at night. If I want to spend time with my lovers and friends, I must arrange my schedule accordingly.

But life changes, and lately I have more flexibility there.

So if I have met you before, then I'm willing to spend an evening with you. Carpe noctum.

Okay, I am now officially obsessed with the whole remodeling/redecorating thing for my house. Ob-sessed. And what do I do when I’m obsessed with something? I buy a whole lot of books on the subject and start reading.

I had picked up a couple of decorating books and magazines the last few weeks, but today I made a special trip to the big magazine rack at the Broadway QFC and bought one of every interior-design magazine they had to offer. Wow, there’s a lot of them!

And then I went across the street to Bailey-Coy and bought a few more magazines, and I also bought this book: Domino: The Book of Decorating: A room-by-room guide to creating a home that makes you happy.

I had seen this book, but initially disdained it, because it does not have a big glossy photo of some fabulous room on the cover, and so what the heck good is that? And the styles of the rooms in the photos inside seemed all very modern, with lots of primary colors. Sort of first-apartment-ish, not at all what I'm thinking of.

But then I flipped through it a bit more and decided it would be helpful. It’s very step-by-step, room-by-room, and it explains a lot about why stuff works together, or doesn’t. It’s got lots of lists and charts and graphs, and I think it'll help me conceptualize what I want.

Much of what’s going to happen at the Little House doesn’t really fall in the “decorating” category. I’m taking out a interior wall to expand the playroom, and remodeling the adjoining bathroom. (And getting rid of that ugly mantle, which is this 70’s faux-rock horror. You know, those big brown stones that you could practically rock-climb on. Terrible!)

But doing that, plus some other factors, are inspiring me to pretty much redecorate the whole damn house - living room, dining room, ect. At least, until I run out of money. That’s a challenge, because I’ve never actually set out to decorate a house in any purposeful way. The furniture I have now is just random pieces I’ve picked up here and there, without any plan other than, “Oh, I like that - and hey, it’s on sale!”

The Big House is done in mostly sort of a contemporary style, with a lot of nice Danish teak pieces. I like that fine, but I am feeling a desire for a different look at my house. Something more classic/traditional, with some antique pieces, and a bit of a French/Italian feel to it. Warm and sexy and a little exotic. But not fussy. I do not like busy, cluttered spaces, with little chachkies everywhere. Some people do that look very well, and live with it comfortably, but not me. I want surroundings that are pretty, but I also like clear surfaces and some negative space for my eyes to rest upon.

So, the actual remodeling hasn’t even started yet – you know how these things go, twice as much and twice as long as you originally planned. But I’m excited about the process just the same.