Wow, I have had so much to do lately, and while I have had some lovely time with some of my boys, a lot of my week has been tedious stuff that’s not going to make you hot to read about. But you know, I do get ragged on occasionally for never writing about non-glamorous activities. I am certainly not trying to present my life as one big leather-lined orgy, it’s simply that the minutia of my daily life doesn’t seem that interesting for ya’ll to read about. But, hey, you asked, so here it is: trivia!

My cat is better. (And seriously, thank you for all the sweet notes I got about that.) She’s not all the way well, but she’s looking much less like a furry rag with eyes and more like an actual ambulatory mammal. So she’s going to make it, but I was seriously wondering about that for a day or so there. Oh, here’s non-glamorous trivia for you: I missed the Bondage Party Sunday night because I had to take her in to the emergency vet. My loving pet clearly viewed my attempt to get her medical attention as a non-consensual kidnapping scene, and she took her revenge by peeing in my lap while the vet was examining her. And I paid several hundred dollars for the privilege of that experience. The smell of cat pee in the heated car on the way home was delightful, I can tell you. Luckily I had the simple wit to wear my oldest jeans.

What else? Well, I had a meeting with my financial advisor yesterday. After years of living completely off the financial grid, it’s still very strange to me that I now talk to people about retirement investments. He said he might need to talk to my tax preparer in order to make the final decision about exactly what kind of IRA would be best for me, and so without thinking, I pulled out my tax guy’s business card and gave it to him. And then I thought, dear god, I used to pay my rent in cash because I didn’t have a checking account. Now I have people – real professional people - talking to each other about my money. I feel like I’ve become one of the pod people. I mean, it’s a good thing and all, but it’s just so bizarre. I’m an outlaw, baby - and yet somehow, I’ve also become this grown-up lady. Trippy.

Democratic House, Democratic Senate! w00t! I'm very, very happy.

But I have expectations. Okay, Blue Wave Winners, we elected you, so come January 1, you better get in there and perform. I will wanting to see some serious work being done about the world o’ crap that’s been visited upon us for the last six years. (Longer, if you count back to the “Contract on America” years…)

Actually, I like having a President be one party and the House and Senate another. I think balance is a good thing. I think this administration has been particularly venal and corrupt, but I also think if you give anyone too much unchecked power for very long, they get arrogant and complacent. I think we should fire all politicians periodically, make ‘em get real jobs for a while.

On another subject...I think due in part to my answering some letters here lately, I have gotten a deluge of "I need advice" emails in the last few days. I am touched by this show of trust in me, and I will pick some to answer in time. BUT! Be aware that if you write to me asking about sexual stuff and you tell me that you’re under 18, I will not answer you. Sorry, can't do it. It's way too risky for me. I cannot instruct a minor in sexual techniques or give a minor advice about how to find sexual partners. I just can't have any conversation about anything sexual with a minor anytime. You'd do better to ask Dan Savage, who is an established sex-advice columnist and who is not an active sex worker.

Now I’m off into the new, blue world – enjoy the latest column…

Okay, I know I've been really bad about writing this week, but I’m having a few un-creative days. For one thing, I’m a bit worried about my elderly cat, who is sick and not responding to her meds as well as I think she should. Another trip to the vet here, I think.

Plus, I’m distracted by following the elections, the outcome of which I am very pleased by, both locally and nationwide. Fuck you, Rick Santorum, fuck you, SD abortion ban, and fuck you, no-lap-dance-laws.

I've been busy with lots of appointments, too. Here’s one lovely tidbit. Remember this fun guy? I saw him again yesterday, and it was just as much fun kicking him in the balls this time as it was last time. One sort of kicks with the top of one’s foot, right above the toes. You get the best smacking sound that way. And if he indicates that it doesn’t really hurt that much, that means you haven’t got them tied up tightly enough. Fix that. You'll both like it better.

Vote. Seriously.

Everything Old Is New Again – At Least For Someone

I’m a busy girl today, so be amused by these letters highlighting the marvelous consistency of the human sex drive - sometimes it’s charming, sometimes it’s silly, but you can rely on it.

(edited for length)

…I'm dating a simply wonderful guy, with whom I have truly great sex…. He just expressed interest in having me penetrate him with a strap-on—he feels hesitant since it's something he's never done before and I think is a little worried about getting hurt, especially as it's something with which I have no experience whatsoever. Do you have any experience with or pointers for this? I'd love to do it…

Read this, and then go for it, he’ll be fine. Just remember, everyone squeals like that the first time. And tell your boyfriend he's a lucky man.

***

hi Mistress i was just on your web site and you are a very beautiful and dominating Mistress. i am in search of a Mistress who will travel to pa to kidnap me and totally enslave me and even brand me as their personal slave, sissy maid and toilet. so please Mistress i beg u come here just outside of philly actually near valley forge and take me home as your slave, sincerely slave jim (ps please i beg u give me your thoughts on this issue and i hope u are willing to make it a reality)

I know gas prices have dropped – and just in time for the election cycle, what a coinkydink! But really, in spite of all these requests, I think I’m going to have to limit my slave-kidnapping range to say, Portland to Vancouver. Sorry, Northeast boys. But hey, you could hitchhike in and call me from a rest stop, those are always good places to get kidnapped from.

(Note to the sarcasm-impaired: I’m kidding. Stay right where you are. Do not pass go, and for god’s sake don’t pass the Rocky Mountains.)

In more important matters: Go VOTE tomorrow, if you haven’t already. And seriously people – please vote Democrat. I am really not a bleeding heart liberal, I would call myself a very moderate Democrat, and from a pure-theory standpoint, I can see the elephant point of view on some matters. But good lord, people who are just pretending to be Republicans have totally hijacked the party that used to stand for fiscal prudence and less government interference in people’s lives. They’re all liars and thieves in there right now, or worse. I say, vote ‘em out!

And definitely reject that stupid nanny-state city law about the strippers. Is that really the kind of thing you want your tax dollars being spent on? Unbelievable. Go vote.