Sunday, April 11, 2004

Busy girl this weekend...I'll do a real post later, but now, for your entertainment, I will present something a clever acquaintance of mine wrote. I thought it was hilarious...


Poly phrase: "I don't use primary/secondary terminology, since I don't see
my relationships as hierarchical."
English translation: "You're a secondary."
Poly phrase: "For me sex is about energy, so breathing and heart connection are more important than ejaculation."
English translation: "I'm more sophisticated than the guy over there,
please sleep with me instead."
Poly phrase: "I see polyamory as being more about relationships and intimacy, while swinging is just about sex, and sex without intimacy is
just not where I'm at right now."
English translation: "I'm more sophisticated than the guy over there,
please sleep with me instead."
Poly phrase: "The most important thing to me is keeping agreements."
English translation: "If you start seeing someone else and I'd feel
unsophisticated just saying that I'm jealous, then I'll reinterpret one of
our agreements until I'm able to say you broke it."
Poly phrase: "Even secondary relationships for me aren't just about sex."
English translation: "Secondary relationships for me are just about sex."
Poly phrase: "Right now the most important things to me are building poly
family and intentional community."
English translation: "I'm getting concerned that I won't always be able to
easily find new partners, plus I'm tired of driving from place to place,
and oh yeah, I'm more sophisticated than the guy over there, so please
sleep with me instead."
Poly phrase: "In our household the most important things are open
communication and open process."
English translation: "Expect to be abused with passive-aggressive 'I'
Poly phrase: "I don't feel that we communicate on the same level, and that
you aren't supporting me emotionally."
English translation: "I'm tired of you but it would make me seem less
sophisticated and hence reduce my opportunities for further sexual
relationships in this community to actually say that so bluntly, so I'll
make this about vague failings on your part instead."
Poly phrase: "I think we should each have veto power."
English translation: "I want to reserve the right to veto each of your
partners, no matter how much they respect our existing relationships, so
that you're de facto limited to monogamy while I play the field."
Poly phrase: "I think that we should focus on each other for a while."
English translation: "I'm having more trouble finding partners than you
are, time to clip your wings!"
Poly phrase: "I want you to always feel OK telling me what's really going
on in your life, and asking for what you need in this relationship."
English translation: "Ask for what you need, and express hurt feelings, at
your peril."
Poly phrase: "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself, for not having
recognized sooner that we weren't right for each other."
English translation: "I'm angry at you for not making my life perfect, but
rather than taking responsibility for setting and meeting my own goals I
find it more satisfying to shift the blame to you while superficially
appearing to do the opposite."
Poly phrase: "Out of respect for our primary bond, we normally only see
other people together."
Poly phrase: "I think we need to process the end of our relationship and
get closure."
English translation: "I'd like to kick you while you're down."
Poly phrase: "We obviously need to work on our relationship."
English translation: "We're through, I just want to vent a little more so
that I can feel a little more self-righteous once you know it's over too,
Poly phrase: "The idea of line marriage has always appealed to me."
English translation: "The idea of having sex with people younger than me
has always appealed to me."
Poly phrase: "So, which conventions do you like to attend, what kind of
books do you like to read, what are your spiritual beliefs, and what is
your ideal occupation?"
English translation: "Which science fiction conventions do you like to
attend, who is your favorite fantasy author, what form of neo-paganism do
you ascribe do, and where in the computer industry would you like to
Poly phrase: "I'm needing to do some inner work, and instead of dating
anyone would rather just work on my relationship with myself."
English translation: "I'm tired of you, but since I don't have anyone else
lined up right now I might as well get some mileage out of the personal
growth angle."
Poly phrase: "Well, I'm only theoretically poly, but I already have plenty
of firmly-held beliefs about how it could be done in real life!"
English translation: "Hi, I'm an idiot."
Poly phrase: "Swinging would be way too crass for me, I'm more about
relationships and emotional intimacy."
English translation: "I've always wanted to go to New Horizons, could
someone give me a ride there and guest me in, as long as I don't have to
ask publicly?"
Poly phrase: "All of my partners are equally important to me, and they're
all primary."
English translation: "I'd rather not explicitly spell out what the
hierarchy is, but trust me - you'll know when you run into it."
Poly phrase: "Our friendship is more important than anything else."
English translation: "Once you've told me that we're done fucking, you'll
never hear a word from me again."
Poly phrase: "I'm willing to take this slow as well."
English translation: "I intend to act like a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy)
and put as much pressure on you to put out as possible."

Way, way too funny...My thanks to the author, RDB, and contributor, Vamp...

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