So I went to go see this play "Mama Don't Hurt Me So Bad". And I had my suspicions before I even went. But nothing had prepared me for the actual event...

Oh. My. God. It was horrible. It was really, really terrible. It was...stupendously, magnificently awful. It was like watching a slow-motion train wreck. For three hours. It was, hands-down, the worst live performance I have ever seen.

It wasn't the actors. They actually had some decent performers, although they were clearly under-rehearsed. But the script - if you can call it that - was terrible: hackneyed and repetitive lines, a glacially slow pace, and confusingly random and disjointed action. I mean, the different acts seemed to only have the slightest hints of a connection to the others. There was no director listed on the program, so perhaps they didn't have one, which would explain a lot.

Plus, although the play is subtitled "an S&M Fantasy", it had nothing whatsoever to do with SM! The website claims it takes place "in a dungeon." It doesn't! There are two brief bits where one character hits another one a few times with a riding crop. That's it. That's the entire part that SM plays in this production.

Unbelievably bad. Horrible. So bad I'm thinking of standing outside the theatre tomorrow night and warning people, "Don't go! Save yourselves!" I'm also thinking of writing a column about it, even though I might feel a little bad about panning the show...But geeze, it's the truth. And I also hate seeing people exploit poor defenseless SM. Shows like this give us kinky artists a bad name.