It sort of baffles me when people read things I didn’t write…

Like this blogger, who has somehow gotten the facts turned backwards.

"I have read on Mistress Matisse’s blog that she has a couple of “servants,” submissives who do her housework for her."

No, I do not have “slaves” who do my housework for me. I wrote a whole column about how I don't have household slaves, because while it's certainly fun if you want to create D/s relationships, it is not at all time-efficient in terms of actually getting housework done.

And this reader, who has a perfectly legitimate question, which I am completely unable to answer.

I remember you had a column a few months ago where you mentioned a friend who was very knowledgeable about BDSM during pregnancy. I recently found out I'm pregnant, but I haven't found a lot of reliable looking/trustworthy sites that discuss what's safe and what isn't during pregnancy. Does the friend you mentioned in that article have a blog? Do you have any recommendations for any other sites that you know are reputable? I'm sorry to bother you but you're one of the people I trust on this sort of topic.

Well, first: congratulations! And second: no, you're not bothering me, but I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. I do not have any pals who are experts on BDSM during pregnancy, and I can't find any place I said that I did. Send me a link, anyone, if you see where I did, and I'll eat my words.

I know three kinky women who are now or were recently pregnant, and if they are inclined, I can get a quote from them about what they did and didn't do, but I think you’re gonna need to talk to your own doctor about this.

But here’s some things I really and truly did say: a new site, PinkNighties.com, who did an interview with me – check them out!