Friday, June 10, 2005

TGIF

Those of you who enjoy the "phone calls" posts will probably enjoy this week's column...

I had no idea what a sex-positive country Germany was...

Okay, 'fess up: who watched "Hit Me Baby One More Time" last night on NBC? I never watch TV but I read about this show and thought "Oh my GOD, Roman and I so have to watch that!" Because we are total 80's music whores, oh yes we are. We know all the bands, we know all the lyrics, there vast swathes of our brains devoted to Foreigner, LoverBoy, The Bangles, Duran Duran, Falco, et cetera. (Rock me Amadeus!)

It was big fun. Haddaway (What is love? Baby don't hurt me...) looked and sounded great, and Roman and I realized it's now impossible not to do that sideways thing with one's head whenever one hears that song. Such is the power of the Roxbury guys.

And wow, I hadn't realized that Martha Davis from The Motels was performing here in town at Teatro Zinzani.

I thought Tommy Tutone should have won. But - as Roman predicted - he was upset by that total white-boy dweeb, Vanilla Ice! Roman and I were stunned to learn that Tommy Tutone lives in Portland and is now a computer programmer. And then to have him be beaten by Vanilla Ice? Oh, the horror of it all. We were devastated.

Next week they have Cameo. (Word up, it's the code word...) We can't wait.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Stuff...

Another piece about the famous Seattle unfriendliness. But no matter how much I read/hear about this, it just doesn't resonate with me. I've never had trouble making friends here, and I think Seattle has tons of sexual energy, if you know where to look. Maybe it just means that my "speed" for becoming friendly with people matches up with everyone else's here, even though I'm a transplant from the South. Other Seattle people, do you agree with this article?

Jeff's Rant About (Some) Pro Dommes. I can relate. There are certainly some ex-tremely annoying members of my profession, although of course I can't name names.

I see that my friend Jennifer, Vancouver BC kink activist extraordinaire, has a blog.

I saw Roman Tuesday night and he reminded me that today is a one-year anniversary for us. Not our first date, which is later this month, but of my blog post where I mentioned that I thought I kinda liked him. I didn't think he read my blog, and so I was caught off guard when he emailed me in the wake of the post and, in a way that both sort of shy and direct at the same time, asked I was talking about him.
I wasn't quite prepared to tip my hand so plainly, but what was I gonna do, lie? So I said yes, it was him. And several weeks later, on June 25th, we had out first date.
We'll be observing that anniversary by going off to a remote little riverfront cabin in the mountains for two days later this month. It should be lovely – quiet, privacy, and a cute boy who's going to cook for me. Bliss.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Several Things I Rather Wish People Would Not Do

Lately, a number of people have told me that they consider me something of a celebrity in certain circles - kinky circles, that is. Now, I think "celebrity" is a bit of an overstatement -"popularity" is the word I'd use. It's a bit like being the head cheerleader at BDSM High. God knows I was a total geek in high school, so it's amusing to be having that experience at this point in my life. I'm sure I appreciate it more now than I would have then.

But whatever you wish to call the Seattle kink community's heightened awareness of me, it's a circumstance that's usually pleasant and flattering. Sometimes I do get hate mail, although frankly it's always been entertaining rather than upsetting. And recently I got some hate mail sent to me at The Stranger, through the US mail! Wow! You know you're really arrived when you get hate mail through the postal service. Somebody invested 37 cents in that. I feel so validated.

But as nice as it is to be known, so to speak, it's occasionally a bit awkward too. You see, I myself am conscious of the fact that, in the words of Valentine Michael Smith, "I am only an egg." However, I realize that it is human nature to seek role models, and I'm honored that some folks I meet see me as such. I do try to live up to the expectations of my community, but there are some things people could do to make it easier for me. And since I understand that there is no way anyone could simply know my preferences without being told, I'd like to explain them. So here we go…

I'm fine with being addressed as "Mistress Matisse" because that is my professional name. But I strongly prefer that social acquaintances not address me simply as "Mistress" in a non-scene context. The people who do this are almost always non-BDSM people, and they seem like they're being all titillated by calling me Mistress. (Hey Mistress, can I buy you a drink? Oooh, didja hear? I called her Mistress! Oooo! Oooo!)

No, don't do that. That title is for people who are actually playing with me, or negotiating to do so. If that doesn't describe your situation, simply call me Matisse. (If that's the name you know me by.) The best way I can explain it is to say that calling me "Mistress Matisse", or simply "Matisse", doesn't imply that we have an intimate relationship. Calling me "Mistress" does.

Please don't tell me how I'm the only "real" dominant woman in Seattle. I'm not flattered, because it's not true, and I wouldn't want it to be true anyway. There are a number of other pro dommes in Seattle, and just because they have not chosen to structure their careers the way I have does not render them any less "real" than I am. There are also plenty of highly competent, non-professional dominant women around, and if they hear you telling me that, your chances of getting any play with them will instantly vanish. And justifiably so.

Please don't ask me if you can be my apprentice, because I'm not hiring. And please, oh please, don't ask me "how to get started" as a pro dom. There is not a short answer to that question, and I'm afraid you'll have to wait for my book to come out to get the long one. I am always happy to give someone my opinion on a very specific "should-I-do-A-or-B?" type of question - I'm just trying to avoid doing lengthy career counseling sessions with strangers at play parties.

Okay, I got that all off my chest, I feel better.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Photo Blogging

We're back to my one of my favorite subjects: beautiful women.

Max, on The Dresser.
The lovely Max - we usually refer to her as "Girl Max" in conversation, so as to differentiate her from my Max, who is just as attractive, but considerably more furry.

Jane and The Boot
Awhile back, there was a period of time in which, if Jane and Max and a camera were in the same room, Jane always seemed to wind up in some very compromised position having to do with rope. Poor Jane, she hated it. Really.

Shower Nude
One of my very earliest self-portraits, from around the end of 1999.

Nude in the Doorway
Another treatment of the theme.

RedLight
I don't know why I like this odd photo of Miss Rose Algren, but for some reason, I just do. It's something about her expression.

RopeGag
Max is so mean. Of course, I was too busy taking pictures to stop him.

LongHaired Nude
I think I've sold more of this image than any other self-portrait. I'm not sure why, unless it's because it's clearly a nude and yet nothing is really showing, so to speak. A discreet nude.

Monday, June 06, 2005

It's Monday, and you know what that means. It's time for the Personal Ad of the Week! Oh, did I not mention I'm now doing a Personal Ad of the Week? Well, I am.

However, as I mentioned last week, I AM NOT looking for another partner. No, indeed. I have Max and I have Roman, and I have another small iron or two in the fire, and I am quite well taken care of, thank you.

But I know some of you are, and besides, it's fun to talk about people.

In spite of some predictions to the contrary, the cute girl from last week never did contact me, which is quite fine with me. I have no idea if she's aware that her fifteen minutes of blog fame has already come and gone. But I hope she hooked up with a hot girl who's spanking her while wearing high heels.

This week, I thought I'd talk about a guy's ad, just for some gender parity. So, I went and looked at a bunch of men's personal ads on The Stranger's personals site, and at the Bondage.com personals. (Of course, I had to disqualify a couple of cool pals of mine with Bondage.com profiles.)

Frankly, I had a tough time finding men I would consider to be even vague possibilities. Some of those ads, Jesus... Did you guys all get a memo about "Things You Must Say In Your Personal Ad"? If you did, throw it out, because there's way too much repetition out there. For example, apparently there are tons of "very oral" guys, who love to "please a woman for hours," looking to hook up in the greater Seattle area. With this kind of raw talent on the loose, it's a wonder every woman in town isn't lying around in a stupor with sticky thighs and a stupid perma-grin on her face. Since, in fact, that isn’t the case, one tends to feel a tad skeptical about all of the ad-placers really being such kings of cunnilingus. Perhaps you should thing of something more original to say, boys?

Also: I want the first time I see your dick to be when I'm ready to fuck you. (Or play with you, as the case may be.) Showing me a picture of it before I even know your name really, really, doesn't work for me. It's bad enough to see a picture of you totally naked first crack out of the box. It's ridiculously tacky to upload a picture of your naked body from belly button to upper thigh.

In that spirit, I immediately ruled out anyone with a dick picture. And I ruled out anyone who even talked about his dick in his profile. Tacky, tacky, tacky. That cut down the field of candidates considerably. I didn't find anyone that really made me say, "Oh yeah!" I think I'm a bit spoiled by my guys, and I like it that way, thankyouverymuch. But I did find some men with potential.

On Bondage.com, this guy seemed nice. I liked that although he has a number of pictures of himself, none, but none, of them are of his dick. Good choice. Plus, since Bondage.com has discussion forums, you can go read what people have said about various BDSM topics and get a sense of whether their view of kink lines up with yours. This guy's remarks make him seem like a reasonable, well-balanced guy.

On The Stranger site, I saw this guy's ad, and yes, I'll admit it – it's a fucking hot picture. Sexy, but leaving something – by which I mean, his dick – to the imagination.

And, his fantasy revolves around giving a woman a massage. Oh, we like a man who massages, yes we do. Max and Roman both give great massages, mmmmm. (Although only Roman eats chocolate-covered cherries from between my toes while giving me a foot-massage.) So, points for the hot masseur, even though he did use the phrase, "very oral".

If you see personal ads you think are really great, feel free to send me a link, and if I like them, I'll talk about them here. It's all part of my continuing quest to encourage more sexy happiness in the world.