The most frustrating kind of client is the guy who acts…sort of vaguely dissatisfied, both during the session and afterwards, but who won't tell me what it is that he really wants.

I have a couple of guys who do this, and it bugs me. Intellectually, I know they must like what I do, because they keep coming back, and when I ask them if there's anything new they'd like to try, they say no. So, okay, I'll do what we always do. But it's really difficult for me to keep my energy and my interest level up with someone who acts like he doesn't want to be there.

I'm always tempted to 86 them, but I keep thinking that maybe we'll have some kind of breakthrough. Trust takes time, and I'm willing to give someone time to get to know me over the course of several sessions, if that's what they need. But for some of these guys it's been years they've been seeing me. What's it gonna take for them to open up and tell me what they're really fantasizing about?
Or maybe they really are getting what they want, but their desires embarrass them and they can't let go of the shame. So they try to act cool and nonchalant about the whole thing, and it comes across as bored and disconnected from the scene.

On some levels, I can just shrug and say hey, it's their money, if this is okay with them, it's okay with me. But I don't get any pleasure or satisfaction from the session, and the absence of it makes me realize how much I do enjoy the sessions where someone really lets go and gives themself to me, just for that little island of time.