True, I'd buy a ticket to see Jason Statham perform in, say, a community theatre production of Bartleby the Scrivener. But I can't imagine anything better than watching him attach electrodes to his nipples, and taser his own cock.
Well, all right - watching myself attach electrodes to him would actually be better. But this movie seems more readily available.
***(P.S. Only Jason Statham can attach car batteries to himself and be okay. You are not Jason Statham. So don't do this in real life, okay? Don't taser your own cock, either.)