A link to the new column.

Note: I've already gotten one email - and I expect I'll get more - from someone telling me, "Defibrillators? Oh, no, they're so easy to use, really, you could do it..."

Understand, I do not doubt that I have the simple wit to plug the thing in, read the directions, and then zap someone.

But I am in no way qualified to decide that someone needs their heart jump-started. I firmly decline to take any such responsibility upon myself. Dammit, Jim, I'm a dominatrix, not a doctor. Doctors don't spank people in their offices*, and I don't diagnose heart attacks in mine. That's my position - one firmly supported by my lawyer, I might add - and I'm sticking to it.


(*Yes, yes, I'm expecting a lot of pervy remarks about the evil things doctors do to people in the name of medicine. Knock yourselves out, kids.)