Complete text of an email I received today.
From the lowest depths of darkness, the forgotten corners of your soul i cry to U. U find me shiueking as demaons claw my heart out and devour it over and ovr until U save me. O/our souls meld toegther locking as O/one we fly together. i know your command before U speak it, U know my obiedice is instant and unthinking. Every breath of cold air that brushs my soul is blown away by your heat and dark brilliance.
Okay, well, unlike some odd emails I get, at least the writer seems to be a native English speaker, which always gives me a fighting chance of deciphering the intended meaning.
But what is he saying here? There’s some guy hanging around a corner of my soul who’s slipped my mind? What, did I put him in a closet or something? Because I’m usually pretty good about not forgetting about that kind of thing.
It’s nice that he thinks I’m brilliant, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same for him. Apparently there is no spell-check on the computer he’s using in the forgotten corner of my soul. And that slashy writing? He’s really not done his homework on me, or he’d know I hate that.
I think this boy’s been listening to way too much bad goth rock. (And actually reading the liner notes - always a mistake, even if one likes the melody.) I imagine the Sisters Of Mercy could have made something out of these lines, but I don’t plan on melding my soul with Nechamadeus’ anytime soon.