Complete text of an email I received today.

From the lowest depths of darkness, the forgotten corners of your soul i cry to U. U find me shiueking as demaons claw my heart out and devour it over and ovr until U save me. O/our souls meld toegther locking as O/one we fly together. i know your command before U speak it, U know my obiedice is instant and unthinking. Every breath of cold air that brushs my soul is blown away by your heat and dark brilliance.
Nechamadeus 206.XXX-XXXX

Okay, well, unlike some odd emails I get, at least the writer seems to be a native English speaker, which always gives me a fighting chance of deciphering the intended meaning.

But what is he saying here? There’s some guy hanging around a corner of my soul who’s slipped my mind? What, did I put him in a closet or something? Because I’m usually pretty good about not forgetting about that kind of thing.

It’s nice that he thinks I’m brilliant, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same for him. Apparently there is no spell-check on the computer he’s using in the forgotten corner of my soul. And that slashy writing? He’s really not done his homework on me, or he’d know I hate that.

I think this boy’s been listening to way too much bad goth rock. (And actually reading the liner notes - always a mistake, even if one likes the melody.) I imagine the Sisters Of Mercy could have made something out of these lines, but I don’t plan on melding my soul with Nechamadeus’ anytime soon.

Community Note: A friend of mine, who's a sweet wonderful guy, has a room for rent in his darling house house near UW. Call him if you're interested...
**************************************************************
For Rent
Large, lovely room on 2nd floor, with lots of oak built-in drawers and
bookshelves. Carpeting, ceiling fan, skylight and little meditation room off
the main room. Own bathroom with shower. Some furniture available at no
extra cost.

Share kitchen, small yard with garden, washer/dryer, basement
storage, high-speed DSL, and off-street parking with live-in owner.

Owner has 2 friendly cats, no other pets please. No smoking indoors.

Available April 1st. Rent is $550.00 per month. No lease, no deposit, first and last
month's rent moves you in, most utilities included. References expected.
Please call for an interview. (206)325-6833

I'm a busy girl today, but here's the new column.... And hopefully I'll see ya'll at Max's Bondage Workshop and party on Sunday.

Edited to add: It's about time to do another "Ask The Mistress" column, so if there's something you've always wanted to ask me, either as a pro domme, a practicing kinkster, or a poly person, fire away. If I don't use your question for this round, I'll save it for future columns. You can post it here, or email it me if you're shy....

Edited one more time: Can you tell my head is a little disorganized today? It's all Roman's fault. Anyway, here's a humorous rebuttal to my column about all the silly things men do when placing personal ads. Read and learn, ladies.

Top 25 Most Played On Matisse’s iPod.

I’m not sure what this says about me, but here goes….

25. Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor Doctor) - Robert Palmer. This is going to sound strange, but this song reminds me of my mom. She’s a rock and roll fan, and I remember being a very, very little girl and watching her dance to this song in our living room.

24. Brass In Pocket – The Pretenders. There’s nobody else here, no one like me…

23. The District Sleeps Alone – The Postal Service.

22. Brave And Crazy – Melissa Etheridge. That’s me, taming all the lions.

21. Born Under A Bad Sign – The Neville Brothers with Buddy Guy.

20. I Need A Man - Eurhythmics. Actually I’m doing just fine in that department. But I love hearing Annie scream.

19. Strangelove – Depeche Mode.

18. Going Out West – Tom Waits.

17. The Continental – Prince. Come and let me do you like you want to be - done. Oh, yes, Your Purpleness, do me - now and always.

16. Erotic City – Prince.

15. Brilliant Mistake – Kate Nauta. Give it up, baby, you’re not in control.

14. Show Me How To Live - Audioslave

13. Boogie Nights – Heatwave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But I actually have a sneaking fondness for (some) disco.

12. Take Out Some Insurance On Me Baby - Jimmy Reed

11. Somebody Told Me – The Killers.

10. Hung Up – Madonna.

9. Rock and Roll Nigger – Patti Smith

8. Superstition – Stevie Wonder. Awesome. Never get tired of this song.

7. Twilight Zone – Golden Earring. In spite of the fact that I have no earthly idea what this song is about. “My beacon's been moved under moon and star” - what?

6. Burn – Nine Inch Nails.

5. Gratitude – Oingo Boingo.

4. Always On The Run – Lenny Kravitz. Fabulous guitar riff.

3. All My Life – Foo Fighters.

2. Like It Or Not - Madonna. It’s so high school, but still, it’s an anthem for all intimidating women everywhere. “This is who I am, you can like it or not, you can love me or leave me, but I'm never going to stop.”

And the number one most-played song is….

1. I Thought You Were My Boyfriend – Magnetic Fields. Roman turned me onto them. Totally addictive melody and keyboards.