A number of alert readers sent me links to some version of this story. Yowch!
I posted a little over a year ago about how I do indeed have a reciprocating saw with a dildo on it - a "Fuckzall," as they are called. (I think Monk has it, actually. I loaned it to him to use on some lucky girl, who did not wind up in the hospital.)
That poor woman! I'm glad she's recovering, but sweet Jesus, people: take the blade off! That's a good place to start, right there!
Then there's a special attachment you can buy to put the dildo on. I would not advise trying to DIY on this one, kids. Seriously.
Good lord. Some people should really just stick to deerskin mini-floggers.