Letter From A Reader

Dear Matisse,

Firstly, thank you for your entertaining and informative blog. I have been enjoying it for several years now. I understand your time is valuable, and appreciate that. As a potential contribution, perhaps you can get another entry, or Stranger column out of this...and hopefully it won't be a 'bad' one!

I am seriously looking at becoming an escort, and have read some of your advice over the years, and am having some trouble locating (and don't recall you writing about it...which, of course, does not mean that you didn't write about it) info on how to tell if an escort service listing for women is legit, and not, well, the fuzz.

I remember your other tips, thank you. I was hoping you may have some tips on this. For example, there was an ad on Craigslist for women, and I have been corresponding with the woman who runs this operation. I have asked questions regarding safety, attire, fees, payment, etc. and am wondering if it is 'normal' to have the woman host, even if the gentlemen are from out of town & are likely staying in a hotel on business already. Do you know and/or have input on this, please?

So far, everything seems on the up & up, so to speak. She runs her business through referrals only from her trusted clients (or so she says). She did make one mention of "if you could seduce and completely pamper someone you have never met before". I am really looking to protect myself. Would it be better to locate one online & "apply" there?

Oh, what a charming reader. See, I am not immune to flattery, and I appreciate the acknowledgment of my needs. I like this person already.

So, Dear Reader, because you seem very nice, I am going to give you some advice on this, somewhat against my better judgment. I fear that in the wake of this, I am probably get a slew of “How do I do so-and-so and not get arrested?” I don’t answer those questions because I am not an attorney. Telling people how to break the law and not get caught is not the focus of this blog.

But I am going to give you some general tips, and here’s what I want from you in return. I want you to take some of the money you earn as an escort, and go very soon to consult an attorney in your area. Pay her/him to tell you about the law. That is just the smart thing to do. So be smart.

Also, go read this site, and watch the videos. These girls are far more current in the escort game than I am. And make a donation, too.

Here’s a book to start you off. There are actually tons of how-to-be-an-escort books around. In my opinion you should read them all, but you must at least read a few.

And read The Gift Of Fear.

Now, a few simple, not-legal-advice remarks.

Basic Rule: Don’t discuss anything illegal when you talk to your (potential) agency. I mean it. Do not talk about sex. Talk about your time and attention - that’s what you are selling. There are some buzz words you can use – “pamper” is fine. I personally think “seduce” is over the line. You can say things like “I want to make everyone I see happy they met me.” Remember, it is not illegal to work for an escort service. It’s only illegal to agree to have sex for money.

There is no good reason why you would ever mention sex to the agency, and they should not talk about sex to you. If they do, that’s a red flag. If they are talking about illegal things to you, they will talk about them to the clients, and that’s not cool.

You should work for an agency that’s been around a long time and has a reputation for good service and fair dealings. It takes time to build up trusted clientele. And as a new girl, you should only be sent to see men who know how this works and will be nice to you.

I’m puzzled by how you say “find one online” You did find one online…?

But Craigslist? Craigslist? Dear girl. No, no, no. Drop that and walk quickly away. You do not want anything to do with anyone on Craigslist. I strongly urge you to not go any further with that. Go up to that box in the left corner and search “Craigslist” for my previous remarks on the subject. (Note: Craigslist is fine for non-sex-work things. Not fine for sex work, though.)

Go look on Eros-Guide, if they have one for where you live. Find the agency with the nicest and most expensive-looking website. Then Google “escort reviews” and the name of your city. Search that agency name on the local escort review board. See what you get. If there is no Eros-Guide, search the board for the best-liked agency.

There is no normal in the escort business, there’s only what you do or don’t wish to do. It seems like you’re being asked to have the guys come to your place. It used to be that "escort" meant "outcall", but the term is more flexible now. If you want to do incall, that's all right, but I don’t recommend it in your case. If you’re going to let this agency owner give people your home address, I think she should first prove her good-client chops by sending you on outcalls for a while. Her idea of “a really nice guy” might differ dramatically from yours. You’ll want to find that out someplace besides your own doorstep.

Best of luck to you, and be careful!