Mistress Matisse's Journal

From The "You've Got To Be Kidding" Department

Complete and unedited text of a message sent to me via my Flickr account:

the tanning bed and shower pics are great. One thing
though, you block out the most sensual parts. If you
would like to exchange photos let me know. Just body
shots....... 803-xxx-xxxx

Huh. You mean - you feel my photos would be improved if I were to reveal my girl parts? Really? Wow, it never occurred to me that anyone would want to see fully-nude photos of me. What a fresh perspective you offer, kind sir.

But surely you are unique. I have certainly neeeeeeeeeever been asked for nude photos of myself before. Not at all. Not even once.

And wait - do I understand that you are offering to send me naked photos of your own body? I am astounded by this! I'm a total stranger, and you want to see explicit naked pictures of me, and show me naked photos of yourself. What a gift of respect and trust! How intimate! I feel so...special. I hope you feel special too. Because I have neeeeeeeeeever had anyone send me naked pictures of himself. Nope. Not even once. Really.

(Does this really ever work? Like, ever? Even in a world where people actually like Sarah Palin?)

Labels: letters