Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The whole “Naughty Meme” thing amuses me, because it’s a look into what other people think is shocking. But I always screw up the curve for everyone, and frankly, some of these questions baffle me.

Have You Ever....

Taken a picture naked? Yes. I’ve also had pictures take OF me while I was naked, which I suspect is what the intent of this poorly-structured question was.

Made money illegally? Who, me? I don't know what you're talking about.

Had a one night stand? Is this really still considered shocking?

Been in a fist fight? Um, hard to say. A little slapping and shoving in the strip-club dressing room, but I’m not sure it rose to the level of “fist-fight”.

Slept with your best friend? Yes. I’ve had sex with her, too.

Had sex in a public place? Yes.

Ditched work to have sex? Yes. Even when having sex (with other people) WAS my work.

Slept with a member of the same sex? You have got to be kidding me.

Seen someone die? Is this really in the same category with a same-sex encounter? No.

Ran from the police? Define run. Back in the day, I was at some illegal raves that got shut down, and I departed through a door other than the one the police were using. I did not dally. Call it what you will.

Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Well, I was always able to make reasonable surmises, but there have been a few occasions when the exact sequence of events was fuzzy.

Worn your partners unmentionables? I quote Hannah on this one: “unmentionables? Who says that these days?” I’ve worn panties belonging to my girlfriends, but boy underwear would make a line under my jeans.

Fallen asleep at work? No.

Used toys in the bedroom? I think some of these questions are tame enough to make me fall asleep. Who wrote this meme, my grandmother?

Ran a red light? Yes. No one died, though.

Been fired? Yes. But only from straight jobs. Never from a sex work job.

Been in a car accident? Yes, but why is this question here?

Pole danced or done a striptease? Only about ten thousand times.

Loved someone you shouldn't? It is better to have loved and lost… My problem is that they usually refuse to get lost, so: yeah.

Sang karaoke? Only once. With much champagne. I think that’ll last me my whole life, too.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? I told myself I wouldn’t meme.

Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Probably, although it wasn’t traumatic enough to stick in my mind.

Caught someone having sex? Yes, although I wasn’t exactly shocked.

Kissed a perfect stranger? No, we’d known each other intimately for at least two minutes.

Shaved your partner? Yes. And other people as well.

Given your private parts a nickname? No, this seems silly to me.

Ever gone in public without underwear? Like, every day.

Had sex on a roof top? Yes. (Hi, Jett…)

Played chicken? I assume this means in motor vehicles. No, what a dumb thing to do.

Mooned/flashed someone? Yes.

Do you sleep naked? Yes.

Blacked out from drinking? Blacked out is too dramatic a term. But I’ve made a sudden decision to go to sleep.

Felt like killing someone? Like the author of this meme? Yes.

Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Well, it’s sometimes hard to say where one episode of sex starts and the next one begins. I have had sex with more than five people in one day, though, so: yes.

Been with someone because they were in a band? Nah, I’m not a groupie.

Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? I’m not dead, which given my low alcohol tolerance I think I would be, so the answer to that is no.

Shot a gun? People, I’m from Georgia.

Gone outside naked? Yes, even aside from the time when I worked at a nudist resort.

I need to find the “Memes for Serious Perverts” page.

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