So – everyone survive Seattle Windstorm ’07 last Thursday? Kinda wasn’t all that big of a deal, was it? Although the weather gave me a few minutes of unease, I confess.
You see, Thursday was my date with Armani to get out of town for a night, and without getting into too many details, I will say that our getaway involved a ferry ride. Now, for those of you who don’t have ferry boats as part of your daily routine, let me explain that these are large boats. You drive on board, get out of your car, go get a cup of coffee from the little snack bar, wander around the deck, look out the windows, et cetera. It’s a pleasant-enough way to travel, but not what one would call a maritime adventure.
Except – if you’re on one during high winds.
Armani and I knew it was a bit breezy, and we saw the whitecaps on the water, but we didn’t think it would be any big deal. However, no sooner had we gotten on the ferry than a voice over the loudspeaker informed us that we must all sit down and hold on for the duration of the trip. “That is not a suggestion,” said the voice, managing to be both flat and staticy and yet somehow ominous at the same time. “You are required by the state of Washington to comply with this instruction. Remain seated until a Washington State Ferry official instructs you that it is safe to stand up and move about the deck.”
Armani and I exchanged oh-my glances and sat down, just as the boat lurched sharply in a manner I have never experienced a ferry boat doing. There was a distinct groan and shudder of timbers as it righted itself. I flashed on the scene from Titanic where Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet are clinging to the rail of the upended ship just before it sinks like a rock, sucking everything in the icy water down with it as it goes. I grabbed the seat and shot Armani a look that anyone who’s ever been with me on a plane during heavy turbulence would recognize. It’s the look that says, “It is your fault that I’m in this situation, and if I die, you better hope you die with me, because if you don’t I’m going to come back from the grave and murder you. Slowly.”
Reading it accurately, Armani shook his head and said, “God, if anything happens to you, Monk will kill me.”
That was a cheering thought, but still, I’m sure I looked extremely unhappy for the rest of the ferry ride, because it was without doubt the roughest one I have ever had. And pretty much everyone sitting within earshot agreed that yes, this was, um, (clutching seat to keep from cartwheeling across the room) pretty rough. I didn’t see anyone on the outer decks, although people being what they are, I would guess someone was. But I didn’t hear any cries of “Man overboard!”
However, in spite of all my nervousness, we actually reached our destination safely. And we had a perfectly marvelous time. It was great to get out of town, the accommodations were perfect, there was a fabulous hot tub, yummy food, and extremely delightful entertainment, of the private sort. And Armani gave me a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings to mark the occasion of our first overnight date. I’ve never actually had diamond earrings before, so I’m quite taken with them. And I’m very fond of Armani, so even if the ferry had capsized, I’m sure I wouldn’t have really murdered him anyway.
Or at least, not slowly.