Monday, March 07, 2005

Last night: Workshop was great, party was great…Thanks to everyone who came and contributed.

Note to my clients: I will be available tomorrow and Wednesday this week, and then I leave for Kinkfest. We’re traveling home on Monday, so I will be booking appointments for Tuesday through the week.

I've had a number of people from Portland call me and ask if I'm booking appointments there while I'm in town, and the answer is no. Sorry, but I'll be a very busy girl all weekend.

Roman posted the latest update in The Weakest Kink Contest, so check that out if you haven't already.

Amusing blogs for today: The Call Girl. Quite interesting...

And an Australian guy's rules for sex worker's clients, who are apparently called "punters" down under. While some of the structure is different because it's legal there, a lot of the suggestions seem to line up with mine. Tire-kickers, indeed.

Today I go to the gym, get a facial, take care of some boring business stuff, and then sit down and write a column. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, but I'm considering something along the lines of: "How To Tell If Someone Is A Good Dominant". What do ya'll think about that?

Sunday, March 06, 2005

It's being a busy weekend for me. After spending Friday night watching Max do a lovely and sadistic rope scene, I bounced out of bed Saturday morning to go shoot with Tommy. Now, I know ya'll will be disappointed by this, but after some conversation with Tommy, he and I decided that we didn't have a big enough block of time to include a boy-model this time around. Tommy was booked pretty tightly, and since I understand all about being tightly booked, I told him that we'd just do it another time.

I considered re-scheduling the whole thing, but the reason I booked the shoot for this particular Saturday was because a good friend of mine badly needed some new pictures for her escort site, and in an uncharacteristic display of shyness, she was afraid to go shoot with Tommy alone. Not that she was thinking Tommy would be inappropriate, far from it. She'd simply never worked with a professional photographer before and she was nervous. And as long as I was going to be there anyway, I figured I might as well try to get even a few pictures out of the deal.

So I went down to Tommy's studio with her and helped her get dressed and fuss with her makeup, and generally petted and reassured her until Tommy put her in front of the camera, and then, of course, she was fine, because this girl is a submissive at heart, and in his studio, Tommy is a dominant perfectionist. You just do what he tells you to do, and you get pretty pictures. And she certainly did.

Max and I hung out and watched that for an hour, and then it became apparent that Tommy and I weren't really going to have much time at all to work before his next (paying) client showed up. You see, Tommy and I do what are called "trade shoots". That means no money changes hands - we're trading my time for his, and we share the resulting images. Some of the shots are designed to suit my needs, and some of them are for him. I don't model anywhere near as much as I used to, but it's always fun to see what Tommy comes up with, artistically. Even the shots that aren't really appropriate for are lovely. These are two of my favorite non-mistressy pictures from yesterday.

So I think I did get a couple of pretty, mistressy pictures for the site, and Tommy and Max and I agreed that we'd book a good long shoot after Kinkfest.

Today is another jam-packed day: Max is doing a workshop at the Wet Spot today called "Bondage From The Bottom's Perspective" with different people talking about why they like being tied up and how different types of bondage make them feel. And Max will be pulling people out of the audience to tie them up so that they can experience it and talk about how they felt.

That's the afternoon, and then we'll go out to dinner and come back to the Bondage Party. I expect to be pleasantly tired by Sunday night…

Friday, March 04, 2005

As per usual, I spent last night doing kinky things with Roman, so no long post right now.

Amusing poly incident of the day: When Roman and I got up this morning, Max, Maura and Jake were down in my garage, finishing some hemp rope. (Max likes Roman's rope, but he's enough of a rope-fetishist to like doing his own.) I personally thought it was not a big deal, but Roman seemed to think that qualified as at least a slight French Farce Moment.

Today, I have one of my favorite boys coming to see me, and then a loooong workout, and then tonight, I get to lounge around my house and watch Max tie up a very pretty girl. That'll be nice...

Meanwhile, the new column and the Kink Calendar are up, and I also found this interesting: Morgan's Time Line of Hooking. I do have a number of friends who are escorts, so I've kept tabs on what's going on in that world since I left it, and I've observed the same progression. Although not all of the customs she mentions are prevalent in the professional-dominance business - (trial dates? You must be joking!) - there is some overlap. There are "mistress review boards", for example, and it has become unusual, and slightly suspect, for mistresses to not show their face in web sites. Like the author, I'm not always sure all these developments are an entirely good thing. In some ways, yes, they're cool. In others - I don't know.

One more: I just saw this and had to add it to today's list: Anatomy of a bad response to a kinky online profile. See, I'm not the only snarky kinky chick in Seattle...

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Be a Model of Restraint

I've got a big event this weekend – a photo shoot on Saturday with the incomparable glamour photographer Tommy Edwards. I've worked with Tommy a number of times before, and while I know some really talented photographers, no one has ever made me look as good as Tommy has. He's absolutely the best at what he does. It's my personal opinion that every woman – and hell, every man, too – should have really gorgeous pictures taken of them at least once. Even though I know that I actually don't roll out of bed looking just like that picture up there, it still just makes me feel good to look at them.

So I'm doing the usual pre-Tommy-shoot regime: the 7-day low-carb crash diet, to get off a pound or two of water-weight. And I bumped up the length and intensity of my cardio routine – oh, the muscle burn… But it's worth it for Tommy. I'll post some pictures when I get them.

Which brings me to something else… In the past, there have been some people who whined at me about that fact that although I don't see female clients, I have pictures of myself with female fetish models on my professional site. Personally, I think those folks are suffering from a surfeit of literal-mindedness – it's art, people, and the language of art is symbolic, not actual. Plus, it's just practical: there are tons of female fetish models. There are very few males.

But in the spirit of fairness, I'm going to make an offer. And if no one takes me up on it, I don't want to hear any more carping about my girl models. I would love to have a cute boy come and model with me this Saturday afternoon. Here are the requirements:

Be way cute, trim and nicely-muscled.
Be over 18, obviously.
Be willing to show your face. No masks or hoods or anything like that.
Be willing to appear as a submissive and be subjected to some bondage and light BDSM play. Nothing too-too heavy, it's a shoot, not a scene.
Be willing to sign away all rights to the photos.
Understand that this is not a real BDSM scene, and that it's not about your gratification, sexual or otherwise.
Understand that while you can certainly make limits and offer suggestions, you are really just a prop in this situation, so Tommy and I will generally expect you to do as you are asked without fussing.

What will you get in return? Pictures of yourself with me, by Tommy. And the opportunity to spend an afternoon in close proximity to me.

Now, I could get any number of female models to do this shoot with me under exactly those conditions, within the same time frame. I will be quite surprised if I can get a male candidate. But, hey, prove me wrong, I'd be pleased.

I will of course need to see pictures of you, and then meet you in person, before Saturday, and Tommy gets a vote on you, too. But if you think you've got what it takes, drop me a note. You'll get some beautiful art out of it.

UPDATE: Much to my pleasant surprise, I have two serious contenders for this gig, including one hot guy I already know, who I thought would not be able to show his face due to professional considerations. Yay! So, I have to get Tommy's approval on this, but we might soon be looking at some sexy male-submissive pictures.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

(Author's note: I decided I'm just fine with the fact that this may discourage certain fetishists from calling me.)

Ring Ring!

Me: Hello?
Caller: Um, hi…I have a strange question. I mean, you might think it's strange.

I prepare to be asked about something I think is quite normal, as that's usually how this works.

Me: What is it you'd like to know?
Caller: I saw that picture, on the other site, of the girl with the dog collar on…Do you do dog-play?

See, very tame. This guy wants to pretend he's a dog and have me put a collar on him, make him bark and spank him with a rolled-up newspaper. Hopefully he won't hump my leg, though.

Me: Sure, I do doggie role-play.
Caller: Role-play?
Me: Yes – you want to do a scene where you pretend to be a dog, right?
Caller: No, um…That's not what I mean. I mean, do you have…um…Do you have a dog? A real dog?

Okay, I think I was wrong about him being tame. But, oh, I really hope this isn't what I think it is. Maybe I'm being too perverse and cynical. Maybe the SPCA is his favorite charity and he's soliciting donations. Maybe he belongs to PETA and he's just checking to make sure I don't signal-whip my pets. I'm clinging, desperately, to any shred of hope that he isn't thinking what I think he's thinking.

Me: Why are you asking me this?
Caller: Well, I'm from (DELETED) and there used to be this pro dom I saw here, Mistress X.

Snarky aside: I know exactly who he means, and if he spent much time with that lady, he's lucky if he's still got a functioning dick and a viable credit rating. Permanent PMS and a shopping addiction does not a skilled Mistress make. But I had no idea she...Oh, Jesus.

Caller: And, well, she had a dog. And she used to bring it into the sessions.

Oh, this is so gross. But I can't decide whether I should just hang up now, or stay on the phone and listen to icky gossip about this other Mistress.

Me: No, I don't have a dog.

And even if I did… We're skating very close to the top of my "Eeeeuuuwwww!" list of activities. But I'm trying to stay calm, because there's no point in getting emotional with this guy.

Caller: Could you borrow one?

Okay, fuck calm. Borrow one? Borrow one? "Excuse me, Friend X, but could I take your German Shepherd out for a walk? We might be gone for a couple of hours. You haven't had him neutered yet, have you? Great."
And then they wonder why the dog has this funny look on his face when I bring him home. I'd be the Michael Jackson of the canine world. I've heard of stud animals, but this is ridiculous.
Plus, don't you have to train a dog to... I mean, humping a human's leg is one thing, but surely a dog wouldn't just... Oh, this is too gross to even think about.

Me: You know what, that's disgusting. This conversation is over, don't call me again.
Caller: No, wait, it's not what you think.
Me: You're calling a dominatrix and asking her if she has a dog she can bring into the session and you're telling me it's not what I think?
Caller: But, but - it could be a female dog!

Click. I hang up.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I've been getting a little gentle fussing from some readers, lately, about my not writing as much. Have no fear, I'm not going away. But as this blog grows more popular, blogging here grows a little more challenging. There are a number of complicating factors behind the scenes, and one of those factors is the effect it's having on both my existing and my potential clientele.

This blog does attract some people to me, which was one of the reasons – although definitely not the only one - I started it. But lately I'm hearing remarks from both regular guys and potential clients that give me pause. They go along one of three lines…

From a potential client: "I can't do the kinds of things you talk about your clients doing on your blog. That's too extreme for me, so you probably don't want to see me, huh?"
Au contraire. The edgy scenes do make a compelling read. But what's true is that the gentler sessions far outnumber the more intense ones, and as long as I feel like I'm connecting with someone, I enjoy doing them. Still, the result is that now before I write, I have to weigh, "If I post about this, will I scare off guys I'd enjoy playing with?"

From a potential client: "I've been wanting to call you, but I was afraid I'd say something stupid and wind up on your blog, you know, as one of those callers."
I'm hearing this more often than I like. I even had one perfectly nice guy who, when my cell phone lost the connection, assumed I had hung up on him and sent me a sad email apologizing for not saying the right thing.
Guys, you have to be really aggressively stupid to be featured as one of those callers. Innocently inquiring about rates, hours and possible activities is perfectly appropriate, and I deal with lots of new folks who don't know quite what to say or what questions to ask. But this worries me slightly, because I definitely don't want nice, honest guys to be scared to call me.

From an existing client: "You wrote about his scene… How come you never write about our scenes? Do you like playing with him better? Do you want me to do what he does?" Yes, there's been a little jealousy/competitiveness among my A-Team boys. It's at a level that's both manageable and forgivable, but since most of my guys aren't that familiar with the concepts of polyamory, trying to explain to them how it is that I like both scenes equally is uphill work. The result: I'm less likely to write about scenes with clients, even though I have some really hot ones.

I am pleased by the fact that no one seems worried I'll "out" them. (Or at least, not that I've heard about.) I never, ever would, of course – but I can't expect them to know how very seriously I take my client's privacy.

Bottom line is: I'm having to try to adjust what I say here without losing the things about the blog that make it entertaining. That's tricky. But I'm working on it…