About a year ago I noted, with horror, that something called “A Submissives Prayer” was being posted around the web. I remarked at that time that I had never seen a dominant’s prayer.

Would that I could still make such a claim. Because what did I stumble upon yesterday but this appalling little sermonette: “A Dominant's Prayer”.

“Teach my beloved to worship through her submission…” What, getting an electric butt plug up her ass is worshipping god? Twelve years of Catholic school, and I never learned about that? How could it be? Maybe I was out sick that day.

“...suffer us not to mislead the young or ignorant and help us to safeguard them on their journey…” - into our dungeons and bedrooms, where we can exploit their youthful ignorance most effectively.

“Counsel me to learn more and improve my technique so that she will never suffer needlessly…” Yeah, God, because seeing as how you so inconveniently put her kidneys right in the way of my flogger, you better help me avoid making my slave piss blood after our scene. She gets really cranky about that.

In case it's not obvious, any combination of Christianity and kinky sex really disturbs me. (Any serious combination, that is. Monk using a Gideon bible to spank people is charming.) Using the words of a blatantly sex-negative religion to pray for your kinky relationship? That’s just – so wrong.

And one cannot help but note that this “prayer”, like the submissive one, assumes a male dominant/female submissive arrangement. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think you’ll find too many female dominants praying to Jesus for divine kinky guidance. We’re all pretty hip to the fact that the god the Christians are praying to thinks that we’re scandalously uppity bitches, and he is unlikely to look kindly on our requests for heavenly favor. "Dear God, guide my hand as I stick this needle into the scrotum of my slave, and let him rejoice in his sufferings as you rejoiced in yours." Mmmmmm - no. I think not.

This is particularly eerie to me because I just finished reading this book: Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith, by Jon Krakauer, which "…delves into a world that is misunderstood by most of America, the world of Mormonism and Fundamental Mormonism. At the core of Krakauer’s book are brothers Ron and Dan Lafferty, who insist they received a commandment from God to kill a blameless woman and her baby girl. Beginning with a meticulously researched account of this appalling double murder, Krakauer constructs a multi-layered, bone-chilling narrative of messianic delusion, polygamy, savage violence, and unyielding faith….Krakauer's journey into Mormon Fundamentalism could be about any Fundamentalist belief, religious or non-religious, and focuses on how these beliefs are formed and how they affect a whole society…"

It’s very interesting, and I learned a lot about the Mormon Fundamentalists I didn’t know before. It certainly sharply clarified the difference between secular polyamory (like what I do) and MF polygamy! For example: marrying thirteen-year-old girls to forty-year-old men and telling them that they - and their whole family- will go straight to hell if they don't obey and submit meekly to being raped by those men.

Thomas Paine said it best: “All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.”