Thursday, July 07, 2005

This Is A Test...

I saw this on Ketzl's LiveJournal and decided to steal it. I don't know Ketzl personally, but I know who she is, if that makes sense. Kink is a small town sometimes.

It's a humiliation purity test, and apparently I'm pretty damn impure. Ketzl says, "Some questions are phrased from the point of view of the dominant, others from the submissive. Give yourself one point for each no answer if you were at either end of the event. Also, the event must have occurred within the context of a romantic, sexual or sadomasochistic relationship; you may have had an evil drill instructor but that does Not Count."

So the questions are hers, the answers in red are mine.

Humiliation Purity Test
Have you ever made someone do the following, or been made to do the following:

1. Engaged in fornophilia (turned someone into an ottoman, coffee table, bookshelf, lamp, etc)
Oh, yes. Have you met my friend Jeff Gord?

2. After orgasm, making sub eat his/her own cum (It's good for you, you know.) Yes.

3. Always address you as Sir, Ma'am, Lord Vader, etc. Yes.

4. Been made to wear a buttplug under your clothing? Yes.

5. In public? Yes.

6. Engaged in Age Play (any kind of age play)? Yes.

7. How about Infantilism? (Let's say up to 2 years, so we're really including Toddlerism here.) No, not my kink.

8. Helpless Old Person Play? (Ewww.) Ew is right, no.

9. Made someone wear a diaper? Yes.

10. Had a baby pacifier tied around your neck in public? In-teresting. But no.

11. Enforced bathroom control? (Guns don't kill people, bathrooms do.) Yes.

12. Bathroom use in front of others. If you did this of your own volition it doesn't count, peemeister. Do you have no shame? Yes.

13. Become a human ashtray? (Soon to be banned in New York.) Yes, even though I don't really smoke.

14. Been made to beg for cigarettes, drinks, a higher spot for your show on TiVO's recording priority list, etc. Yes.

15. Worn a blindfold? (Hey we had to throw an easy one in.) Of course!

16. Indulged in boot worship at odd moments. Yes.

17. Had a cavity check in private? Yes.

18. Cavity check in public? ("Waiter, check please-- ooh I didn't know it was THAT kind of restaurant".) Define "public". But I think yes.

19. Been caged? Of course.

20. Been caged and then ignored for at least 20 minutes? Yes.

21. Been forced to carry a doll or toy around? Define "forced". She didn't protest...

22. Forced someone to suck their thumb? No.

23. Crawl on all 4s? Dur - of course!

24. Had someone cum or urinate into your food? No, although it's a nice idea.

25. ...and then eaten it? (see #2) Nasty, nasty people!

26. Been the target of curse words? (Whore, Slut, Worthless-- all in good fun though.) Too easy.

27. Made to curtsey in public? (And not at a Renn Faire, wench.) Yes. Jae was a debutante and we used to make her show us her curtsey.

28. Do a dance/strip tease? A number of times.

29. In public? Yes.

30. While naked? What's the point otherwise?

31. Had someone else pick out your food? (The waiter doesn't count.) Yes.

32. Dictate your clothing? Is this dominant? I do this for Max all the time. Although we call it "suggesting".

33. Had someone pee in your bathwater? No - does peeing on someone while you're in the shower together count?

34. Eat from a pet dish? Yes.

35. Eat from the floor when others were sitting at the table? Yes.

36. Eat without utensils when the food required them? (Pizza does not count.) Yes.

37. Made someone assume embarrassing positions? Too easy.

38. Gave someone an enema? Yes.

39. Enforced eye contact restrictions? Yes.

40. Been fed from someone's hand? Yes.

41. a restaurant? (aww how romantic) Yes.

42. Indulged in foot worship? Oh, just like ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME!

43. Forced to exercise? (Your physical trainer's verbal humiliation doesn't count) Yes.

44. Forced nudity? Yes.

45. Been made to masturbate in odd places? (Currently accepting write-in suggestions for what counts as odd.) Yes.

50. Were up for bid in a slave auction? Yes.

51. Forced to sell lemonade in the street? (No one's getting 100% on THIS test, smarty.) Well, no.

52. Forced to wear an embarassing sign ("SLUT", "SLAVEBITCH", "I VOTED FOR BUSH", etc)Yes.

53. Forced to be a slave (if you're in graduate school, your advisor DOES count. On your knees student!) Once again, define "forced". But I think so.

54. Forced to wear a leash? Yes.

55. Given a golden shower? (You know what I'm talking about.) See answer for number 42.

56. Been made to wear handcuffs in public? Yes.

57. Been handcuffed to a shopping cart while shopping? Isn't that against the fire code?

58. Been part of a harem? Can two people be a harem? I'm not sure about this one.

59. Made to wear a hood? Yes.

60. Used as a human garbage can? Yes.

61. Been tied up? Yes.

62. So you couldn't move? Yes.

63. Back to bathroom use again. Have you ordered someone to leave the bathroom door open while they use it? Yes.

64. Left a note for someone with embarrassing instructions? Yes.

65. Been whored out? Not 100% sure how to call this one, but I think yes.

66. I mean really, for money? I think the phrase is "Busman's Holiday".

67. Been made to deliver Maid services? Yes.

68. Forced someone to wear your dirty underwear? Yes.

69. On their head? Yes.

70. Made someone wear nipple clamps in public? Yes.

71. Under a see thru top? Yes.

72. Been subject to orgasm control? Yes.

73. How about orgasm denial? Yes.

74. Been made to role play an animal? (Act like a dog, cat, etc. Woof!) Yes.

75. Ordered to pose for naughty pictures? Yes.

76. How about naughty videos? Yes.

77. Been scolded? Yes.

78. Spit on? Yes.

79. Slapped in the face? Yes.

80. Sent shopping with an embarassing note you had to hand to the clerk? ("We're out of milk. He's kind of slow, please point him to the dairy section".) No, not quite my style. Cute idea though.

81. Made to serve others (supervised) Yes.

82. Made to serve others (unsupervised) Yes.

83. Served as a human urinal? Yes.

83. Served as a human toilet? (EWWWW not safe.) No thanks.

84. Had your head shaved? (Obviously more traumatic for women.) Yes. I even have pictures...

85. Made to shave your body hair? Yes.

86. How about your pubic hair? Yes.

87. Been given a temporary slave tattoo, or other temporary humiliating body art? Yes.

88. Been given a permanent slave tattoo, or other permanent humiliating body art? Define "permanent". Cutting scars fade over time.

89. Spanked someone in public? Yes.

90. Been under speech restriction? ("Don't say a word to my parents about my grade in biochem" doesn't count.) Yes.

91. Spelled "Slave" or other choice phrase on someone with suntan lotion & made them get tan? I squandered an opportunity when I was living down South, didn't I? No.

92. Made someone stand in the corner? Yes.

93. Been cuckolded? I think this is a yes.

94. Cum on someone's face? Yes.

95. Made them wear it til it dried? (Oil of Olay's secret ingredient!) Yes.

96. Been forced to wear slutty clothes? Yes.

97. Made to piss yourself? I think yes, although they were naked at the time. Does that count?

98. Made to vote for someone you disapproved of? Now that's sadistic. No.

99. Forced to take a purity test? Yes.

100. Forced to take a purity test over and over, updating your score until you got 100%? Will this be the newest kink trend?

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