Ordinary Life

I'm sure sometimes my life seems very outlandish, but in fact, much of it looks a lot like other people's. Today, for example, I have an appointment with my bookkeeper to prepare my 2004 federal taxes. Talk about painful and non-consensual…Writing that check is going to be a seriously masochistic experience. Perhaps for the next little while, I should just have my clients send their money directly to the IRS, to save me the postage.

And although the state and city people don't bite me as hard, money-wise, all the confusing forms they want you to fill out, jesus, it's ridiculous. So I shove all that paperwork at my nice kinky bookkeeper lady and say, "Make these go away, please…"

For a self-employed sex worker, it is possible to operate completely under the radar. You get paid all in cash, of course, and you can live quite comfortably with no checking accounts, no credit cards, nothing. Landlords fuss a little if you don't have a bank account, but if you put down a hefty deposit, they'll usually rent to you. Buy money orders at convenience stores to pay your rent and utility bills, put fake names on everything, never give your SS number to anyone, and leave no follow-able paper trail at all. Just a safety deposit box, that's all you need.

I'm not I'm saying I ever did that…But I'm not saying I didn't, either. Regardless, that's not how I want to live my life now. Living off the financial grid and paying cash for everything has its advantages – for example, one accrues no credit card debt whatsoever, something that seems fairly unusual in my age bracket. No student loans, either. But it's damned inconvenient sometimes. And although when you're twenty-two, you're not so worried about your future, as one gets a little older that begins to seem like something one ought to consider.

I've read some interesting financial planning books and been to some investment presentations with Max, but most them don't quite fit with my somewhat unusual money situation. Luckily for me, one of my serious A-team boys is a very successful - what do they call them? "Wealth management consultant"? An amusing title, considering I'm definitely not what I would call wealthy. But after I get through the annual bloodletting by the IRS, he and I are going to have a sit-down and talk about some long-term plans. He's actually handling money for some other ladies I know, so he's pretty hip to how our finances tend to look, and I think he'll give me some good advice. I wouldn't talk to just anyone about my financial affairs, but I've been seeing this man regularly for – god, it's been about seven years now, maybe longer, and I really trust him.

Money stuff. It's not at all what I want to spend my time doing. But it's not going to go away, and so, like everyone else, I have to deal with it. But I don't have to like it.