As the readers of my Twitter already know, I'm out of town for a few days. I'm enjoying a few days in Chicago with an intimate companion. I'm back Saturday evening, and I plan to spend Sunday recovering what I'm sure will be be a delightful trip.

But if you wish to see me, drop me a note and we'll plan a rendezvous for next week. I have missed seeing far too many people I'm fond of lately. You know who you are... So let's play.

For those who want to see me soon, some schedule updates…

I’m in town this week until Thursday, although my time is filling up. In general, it’s best to book time with me at least two or three days in advance. It’s always okay to ask me for last-minutes dates - but it’s usually not easy to get them!

I’m out of town from Friday the 21st until Monday the 24th.

And that is the end of the really crazy travel schedule I've been on for the last two months. It's been great fun, but I'll be glad not to be on any planes for a bit.

I expect I’ll do a few little getaways here and there, and naturally I’ll be as busy as I normally am. But I plan to be mostly in Seattle for the next couple of months. Which I like.

Back in Seattle, and busy catching up on my life. Because of all my travel recently, I had to regretfully turn down far too many charming invitations from intimate friends. If you're one of those people, drop me a note and we'll talk about a rendezvous.

And if you're a local fan of foot worship, you should know about this party. Seattle Footnight! April 1st, from 8pm-midnight. These are fun events, I've gone to several of them before. I'll be at this one, and so will my lovely friend Lady Lydia, as well as other beautiful women. Check out the site and register for the party!

I have a new column in The Stranger about a topic I'm frequently asked for help with: handling intense jealousy.

***

And a calendar note: I'm out of town from March 15th to March 22nd. I'm going somewhere warm for a few days, which should be lovely. And then I'm going to Kinkfest!

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Updated Availability

Hey Seattle people: If you’re think of trying to see me, this coming week is a good time to do that. I have some time free, and I’ll be traveling a good bit in weeks to come. So, drop me a note soon if you want to get time with me.

For long term planning, here is my travel schedule through November.

I’m out of town, at Folsom Street Fair, from September 25th- 28th.
I’m in Vegas from October 6th to the 9th.
I am in Atlanta from October 23rd through Oct 28th.
And I am in Vegas from November 3rd through the 6th.

(Note: I mention cities only because my pals like to know where I am. I’ll be with an intimate friend on all of these trips, except for Atlanta, which is a family gathering. But either way, I am not available to do private sessions. Sorry!)

Notes About My Schedule

For my friends who like to plan ahead: I’m out of town Sept 26th to the 29th – I’ll be at Folsom Street Fair. (And that looks like it’s going to be a very, very interesting trip indeed.)

I’m back for a week, and then I’m in Vegas from Oct 5th through the 9th.

It’s looking like I might be going to Atlanta for the last week of October, or the first week of November, but I’ll post dates for that when it gets firmed up.

So now you know. And knowing is half the battle. (The other half? Stapling someone's balls to a chair. Heh.)

I am gearing up for a busy seven days, and they’re going to be rather split-second in terms of timing. And somewhat schizophrenic in nature.

Today is easy. I'm about to spend some private time with a friend, and then I’m doing dinner and silliness and kinkiness with a group of my pals. But soon, who should arrive but - my dearest mamma. Which is all well and good, except that I’ll have to do a quick reversal of role.

You seem, my mother is a sweet, gentle woman who loves me very much. She would never raise her voice or argue with anyone. She wants nothing except that the people she loves be happy.

Occasionally, though, my mother gets ideas about what, exactly, would make someone happy. And once she’s decided that - oh, you better just get out of the way. Because she is a five-foot, one-hundred-pound force of nature with a southern accent, and she is simply not going to stop until she has brought about whatever set of circumstances she just knows will be best for her loved one.

I have developed a sort of emotional Aikido for dealing with my mother when she’s on one of her campaigns. You know - don't hurt her, just redirect her momentum. But I pick my battles. Whatever it is, unless you're highly skilled and really invested in not doing it, you should just choose to go along and be made happy by it. Believe me, it’s much simpler if you don’t struggle.

Fortunately, I think she exhausted a lot of her making-people-happy-whether-they-like-it-or-not mojo on my brother’s wedding in May, and besides, now she has a whole new set of people (my sister-in-law’s family) to interest herself in.

Just to make these few days even more fraught with the possibility of comic mishaps, my partner and I also have Midori staying with us. We love her, and she is the best and easiest house guest imaginable. She travels so much so has it down to a science, and she has a knack of flowing into a busy house so smoothly that you hardly now she’s there.

She often stays with us when she’s in town. In fact, my mother and her husband have met Midori at our house before. So when I told my mother Midori would also be here, she replied, “Oh, yes, your friend from San Francisco! She’s so nice, and so pretty. Tell me again, what does she do for a living?”

“Um…she’s an artist. Yeah. An artist. So, is there anything particular you’d like to do while you in Seattle, Mom?”

It used to be that this sort of worlds-colliding would have been flatly impossible for me to manage. But I’ve gotten more relaxed lately about people from my various worlds encountering each other. Still, some things challenge even my ability to keep a lot of balls in the air. Keep your fingers crossed I don’t send them all flying in the wrong directions.

Schedule Notes

EDITED at 6pm Thursday May 7th...

Here's what I know about my availability for the next few weeks...

I'm booked the rest of this week.

I have time next week Tuesday the 12th and Weds the 13th.

Maybe a little on Thursday the 14th.

Friday the 15th I'm unavailable.

The week of the 18th to 22nd is still pretty free.

I'm out of town Monday the 25th through Thursday the 28th.

And then I'm out of town again from Weds June 3rd to Saturday June 6th.

Hope that's helpful to my friends...

A few notes about my schedule as I know it today…

Tomorrow: I have nothing at all going on Thursday afternoon, and that just seems like a shame. Someone I like should email me and fix that.

Week of April 20th-24th: I have time available on Tuesday the 21st, and a little on Wednesday the 22nd, in the later part of the day. Otherwise next week is pretty much booked, unless someone has to cancel.

Week of April 27th –May 1st: I’m in town Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of that week and I have some time free. Thursday the 30th I’ll be getting ready to leave town, and I have a very important event to attend that evening, so Thursday is pretty iffy for me.

I’m out of town – at the much-mentioned brother’s wedding – from Friday May 1st until Monday May 4th. I can see people starting Tuesday the 5th.

I’m also going to be out of town from Monday May 25th until Thurs May 28th.

A few thoughts about scheduling... The ways in which I spend time with people is always evolving. Some of my dearest friends are busy people who steal time for short but sweet interludes with me from an already jam-packed life. Other people are asking me to spend entire days with them. I’m also traveling to other cities with a few close friends, which I used to not do so much.

All of that makes scheduling with me sometimes a challenge. I know that. But I do value all my relationships. Each one of you participated in making me who I am today, and that means something to me. You guys who’ve been seeing me ever since I was in my very first dungeon – remember that awful little ramshackle building near REI, with unreliable heat, and no shower, and the homeless people sleeping on the steps? Even if I only see you for an hour every four or five months, the fact that you’ve stayed in touch all these years pleases me. You knew me when, as they say.

So yes, my schedule is a bit more complex now than it was then, but that does not mean I don't want to hear from you. I hate to disappoint people, so I appreciate your patience and polite persistence. But if you're a friend, it’s always all right to ask if I’m free, even on short notice. Because sometimes the stars line up and I say, “Tomorrow? Sure, come on over, let’s play.”

A few points of information about my schedule...

I have time available Wednesday of this week, so if you've been trying (and failing) to schedule with me, talk to me.

EDIT: Looks like I have some time Friday too.

***

About Evening Appointments: In the past, I have not been open to evening sessions - meaning, not after 8pm or so. The reasons for that rule were were two-fold.

One was my experience that, as the saying goes, "Nothing good happens after midnight". By that I mean: daytime sessions with new people are less likely to turn out badly than nighttime sessions with new people. Thus, no nighttime sessions equals less chance of bad experiences.

But things have changed since I made that rule. I almost never see new people anymore, so why not see my favored boys at night, if they ask nicely?

My other reason - which will still hold true to some degree - is that most other people I care about work in the daytime and socialize at night. If I want to spend time with my lovers and friends, I must arrange my schedule accordingly.

But life changes, and lately I have more flexibility there.

So if I have met you before, then I'm willing to spend an evening with you. Carpe noctum.

Well, I had a busy weekend. For one thing, I taught a class at a writer's convention, which I was excited but somewhat stressed about. It's one thing to teach how-to classes to kinky people. I know, generally, how to teach stuff like that.

But teaching a class full of authors how to write about kink, or sex work, or polyamory in fiction? That's different. And I just never know how people outside the love bubble - especially women - are going to respond to the full-on "Mistress Matisse" experience. But the attendees were cool, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. I also got to hang out with Hannah and Sparkle, which was great.

Another cause for happiness: I have six whole days before I have to fly anywhere! I'm going to Atlanta on the 19th, to visit my family, and I'm coming back the 23rd. (Special thanks go out to the man appropriately nicknamed Jet, for scoring me a first class ticket. That's a really nice thing to have on any flight, but if I'm traveling coast to coast, it's absolutely mandatory.)

So if you're wanting to get time with me, contact me soon. I have some time available this week, and I'd love to see some of the friends I've had to regretfully decline due to my recently-insane schedule.

***

In reference to Friday's post: I got some really interesting and thoughtful responses to the question of whether or not health care is "a right", and I choose some to post here. I must say, it's such a pleasure and an honor to have such smart readers. Thanks for your thoughts!

Notes about my schedule. It seem like it’s been a long time that I’ve been writing about how I’m extra-busy because my Mom is here. But this is the last week of that. Starting the 11^th, I’ll be back to my normal level of insane-busyness.

Also: I will be unavailable August 18^th, 19^th and 20^th – I’m going down to Las Vegas for a few days. That should be fun, I haven't been to Vegas in forever.

***

Now, for an unsexy question. I give a lot of advice here, now I need some myself. It’s about my refrigerator. The problem is that it’s peeing on my floor and I don’t know why.

It’s a very basic standard fridge. There is not an ice-maker in the refrigerator compartment or the freezer compartment, there is no water-dispenser on the door, none of that stuff. It is not connected to a water source of any kind. It is a plain white box that plugs into the wall and gets cold. That’s it.

Yet for some reason, puddles of water are forming inside it and trickling out when one opens the door. I’m talking a couple of ounces here, enough to make a large puddle on the kitchen floor. And rings of water are forming around everything in the fridge, on every shelf. It’s a mess, and very annoying.

I cannot figure out why this is happening. It’s set to the average level of coldness. I tried setting it colder, but that does not prevent the water from happening, the water just freezes. (And so do all the other liquids in the refrigerator, which is not ideal.)

The appliance is not showing any other obvious signs of distress. It’s not new, it came with the house when I bought it a little over two years ago, and I believe we determined that it was about seven years old. But that’s not ancient.

I could call a repairman. And if I had some idea that this was a fifty-dollar fix, I’d do that. But my experience of repairing large appliances is that somehow, it always winds up being more like a two-hundred-dollar fix. My philosophy is that if the cost of repairing an item is 50% or more of the price of a brand-new one, then to hell with it, I’ll just buy a brand-new one. A new refrigerator just like this one is about four hundred dollars. Thus, my dilemma.

So – anyone have any “yeah, that happened with mine and it turned out to be X” stories for me? Send them along - my email address is over on the right, there. Quick, before I kill myself slipping in these puddles of water.

Scheduling note to my friends: I'm doing family duty today. But I am available to slip away for an hour here and there Wednesday and Thursday, and I'm back to being available Friday.

***

To amuse you: just for fun, I went back through the archives to see what I wrote about around this date in previous years. So enjoy the blasts from the past.
July 2004: Strange Emails
July 2005: Silly Phone calls
July 2006: Drugs and Music
July 2007: More Phone Oddness

I'm a busy girl today...

A note about scheduling. I'm out of town soon - I leave April 23rd and return April 28th. I am booked this week, and I have a little bit of time Mon the 21st and Tues the 22nd. If I know you and you'd like to see me one of those days, best contact me ASAP.

I will be available once again the 29th.

(I'm going to Florida to visit family and no, I will not be available for professional sessions while I'm there, sorry.)

***

Also, I so need a print of this cartoon. I cut it out of the New Yorker when it was published and had it on my refrigerator for years. But it got old and fell apart. I'm thrilled to have found it again, thanks to an alert reader, and I'm definitely going to have to order a desk print of this. It's... my life, in one frame. Love it.

Schedule, Travel, and Bikinis…

Some notes about where I will be, and when, and why. (And some musings about the fashion requirements thereof….)

I’ve got some travel coming up, and I also just have some blocks of time already booked up. So if you’re wanting to see me in the next six weeks or so, here’s my schedule.

(Note: this was current when I hit “Publish”, but obviously I’ll get more booked as time goes by. Carpe diem.)

Monday March 17^th: One appointment open, between 2-4 pm .

Tuesday March 18^th: Time available.

Wednesday March 19^th: Time available.

Thursday March 20^th : Already booked

Friday March 21^st: One appointment open, between 4-6 pm .

Monday March 24^th and Tuesday March 25^th : Already booked

Wednesday March 26^th: One appointment open, later afternoon.

Thursday March 27^th – Monday March 31^st: Out of town for Kinkfest.

I’m back and available as of Tuesday April 1^st.

After Kinkfest, I’m in town and have plenty of time available until April 23^rd. I’ll be out of town from April 23^rd to the 28^th.

I’m going on a family vacation in Florida. Yes, really! And Monk is going with me, though, so that will be fun. (Wait until my mother gets a load of his tattoo, that’s going to be an interesting conversation.)

Mainly we’re just going to relax on the beach, but it turns out that Monk has never been to a theme park! Which just boggles my mind, since I’ve been to lots. So I think we’ll do a day at Disneyworld, just because it’s a cultural experience everyone should have.

I find it rather amusing that I have tons of stuff to wear for the upcoming BDSM conference, but I have nothing to wear in Florida! This is going to stun you – not - but there actually isn’t a ton of hot-weather clothing available in Seattle right now. I need some shorts and some beach sandals, and another pair of sunglasses, all of which are do-able here. But I also need a couple of bathing suits, and that’s going to be tricky. You see, my mother will be slightly-but-noticeably disapproving if I am sashaying around in a tiny thong bikini. I try to be sensitive to her views, however there is no way I’m buying one of those one-piece skirted jobs. That’s just too conservative for me. I’m going to try to split the difference and get a two-piece with a not-too-much-cleavage top and the boy-shorts type bottom. I might be able to get away with this one, it's sharp-looking, and it is a one-piece, so... Wish me luck, ladies, we all know how exasperating shopping for a bathing suit is, it’s even worse than buying blue jeans.

While I am on the subject of this trip, let me just insert two thank-you’s here. One is to Monk’s wife Tambo, who is the coolest thing in the world for being so completely fine with Monk going out of town with me. And the other shout-out is to the guy who scored me a pair of first-class airline tickets to Orlando. Flying coach down to Florida would be a level of hell that I do not wish to endure. You rock, my friend.

Bye!

Wow, that karaoke party? That was a bit surreal. A whole bunch of us were stuffed into this not-very-large room, it was very warm, and as the evening went on, and - at least on my end of the couch - more champagne was consumed, we were all laughing and singing with increasing enthusiasm and volume. Some of us were moved to get up and dance a bit, so with the noise and the heat and the music, it was rather like being in a twenty-by-twenty foot nightclub. Highly amusing.

(Did I sing? Well, you could call it that. Am I going say anything else about that? Hell, no. I think we all agreed that karaoke rooms were like Vegas - what happens there, stays there.)

So I'm recovering from that new cultural experience. Meanwhile, listen to a new podcast. Monk and I talk a little bit about the upcoming leather conference, Kinkfest, and then read a letter from a polyamorous reader who asks about poly rules. (The referenced column is here.)

***

Also, a note to my clients: This Wednesday is completely free for me. If you've been trying to get time with me, shoot me an email before someone else snags it.

A note about scheduling.... This is the busiest February I can remember! Usually it's a dead month. But as soon as I remarked last week that I had time available, the phone started ringing and ringing... As of right now, I am booked through the 13th. I have had to regretfully say no to a number of boys I really like, but there are just so many hours in the day. Keep trying, please, my calender looks more open after the 13th.

But I love that you all love me so much...whee!

Wow, this is unusual: I have nothing booked for Wednesday. I suspect some of ya’ll are a bit depressed about the latest financial news. Hey, I’m not even going to open my brokerage statement this month. However, if you come see me, I’ll pretend you’re a subprime mortgage lender and do bad, bad things to you….

***

I am publishing this either in spite of, or because, it’s slightly embarrassing. It’s part of my struggle to accept my identity as a musically un-hip person.

Thus, here are the Top Eleven Most Played Songs in my desk-top iTunes:

11. Sugarless, Caviar

10. Come Out And Play, The Offspring

9. Going Back To Cali, LL Cool J

8. Somebody Told Me, The Killers

7. Black Snake Voodoo Hiss, by Chemlab

6. Dream Police, Cheap Trick

5. Gold Digger, Kayne West

4. I Want You So Hard, Eagles Of Death Metal

3. Rock And Roll Nigger, Patti Smith

2. U + Ur Hand, Pink

1. Twilight Zone, Golden Earring

Interestingly, the Most Played list on the iPod proper is totally different. I guess I like different music for sitting at my desk than I do moving around in the world.

So speaking of iPod, I’m shopping for iPod related stuff…. Does anyone have this? (Bose Sound Dock.) Drop me a note if you do and you have an opinion about it.

I also need a cradle or a wire or something that will let me play my 3^rd Generation iPod Nano in the car. I have a wireless sled, but it’s for my older, narrower Nano. And frankly, it was always a little problematic. The connection would wiggle loose, and the sound would cut out. But the choices on the Apple website are limited and unencouraging. Is there really not a good wire-based system? I guess I’d take another wireless sled, if that’s a better bet. Email me suggestions...