As per usual, I spent last night doing kinky things with Roman, so no long post right now.
Amusing poly incident of the day: When Roman and I got up this morning, Max, Maura and Jake were down in my garage, finishing some hemp rope. (Max likes Roman's rope, but he's enough of a rope-fetishist to like doing his own.) I personally thought it was not a big deal, but Roman seemed to think that qualified as at least a slight French Farce Moment.
Today, I have one of my favorite boys coming to see me, and then a loooong workout, and then tonight, I get to lounge around my house and watch Max tie up a very pretty girl. That'll be nice...
Meanwhile, the new column and the Kink Calendar are up, and I also found this interesting: Morgan's Time Line of Hooking. I do have a number of friends who are escorts, so I've kept tabs on what's going on in that world since I left it, and I've observed the same progression. Although not all of the customs she mentions are prevalent in the professional-dominance business - (trial dates? You must be joking!) - there is some overlap. There are "mistress review boards", for example, and it has become unusual, and slightly suspect, for mistresses to not show their face in web sites. Like the author, I'm not always sure all these developments are an entirely good thing. In some ways, yes, they're cool. In others - I don't know.
One more: I just saw this and had to add it to today's list: Anatomy of a bad response to a kinky online profile. See, I'm not the only snarky kinky chick in Seattle...
Friday, March 04, 2005
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Be a Model of Restraint
I've got a big event this weekend – a photo shoot on Saturday with the incomparable glamour photographer Tommy Edwards. I've worked with Tommy a number of times before, and while I know some really talented photographers, no one has ever made me look as good as Tommy has. He's absolutely the best at what he does. It's my personal opinion that every woman – and hell, every man, too – should have really gorgeous pictures taken of them at least once. Even though I know that I actually don't roll out of bed looking just like that picture up there, it still just makes me feel good to look at them.
So I'm doing the usual pre-Tommy-shoot regime: the 7-day low-carb crash diet, to get off a pound or two of water-weight. And I bumped up the length and intensity of my cardio routine – oh, the muscle burn… But it's worth it for Tommy. I'll post some pictures when I get them.
Which brings me to something else… In the past, there have been some people who whined at me about that fact that although I don't see female clients, I have pictures of myself with female fetish models on my professional site. Personally, I think those folks are suffering from a surfeit of literal-mindedness – it's art, people, and the language of art is symbolic, not actual. Plus, it's just practical: there are tons of female fetish models. There are very few males.
But in the spirit of fairness, I'm going to make an offer. And if no one takes me up on it, I don't want to hear any more carping about my girl models. I would love to have a cute boy come and model with me this Saturday afternoon. Here are the requirements:
What will you get in return? Pictures of yourself with me, by Tommy. And the opportunity to spend an afternoon in close proximity to me.Be way cute, trim and nicely-muscled.
Be over 18, obviously.
Be willing to show your face. No masks or hoods or anything like that.
Be willing to appear as a submissive and be subjected to some bondage and light BDSM play. Nothing too-too heavy, it's a shoot, not a scene.
Be willing to sign away all rights to the photos.
Understand that this is not a real BDSM scene, and that it's not about your gratification, sexual or otherwise.
Understand that while you can certainly make limits and offer suggestions, you are really just a prop in this situation, so Tommy and I will generally expect you to do as you are asked without fussing.
Now, I could get any number of female models to do this shoot with me under exactly those conditions, within the same time frame. I will be quite surprised if I can get a male candidate. But, hey, prove me wrong, I'd be pleased.
I will of course need to see pictures of you, and then meet you in person, before Saturday, and Tommy gets a vote on you, too. But if you think you've got what it takes, drop me a note. You'll get some beautiful art out of it.
UPDATE: Much to my pleasant surprise, I have two serious contenders for this gig, including one hot guy I already know, who I thought would not be able to show his face due to professional considerations. Yay! So, I have to get Tommy's approval on this, but we might soon be looking at some sexy male-submissive pictures.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
(Author's note: I decided I'm just fine with the fact that this may discourage certain fetishists from calling me.)
Ring Ring!
Me: Hello?
Caller: Um, hi…I have a strange question. I mean, you might think it's strange.
I prepare to be asked about something I think is quite normal, as that's usually how this works.
Me: What is it you'd like to know?
Caller: I saw that picture, on the other site, of the girl with the dog collar on…Do you do dog-play?
See, very tame. This guy wants to pretend he's a dog and have me put a collar on him, make him bark and spank him with a rolled-up newspaper. Hopefully he won't hump my leg, though.
Me: Sure, I do doggie role-play.
Caller: Role-play?
Me: Yes – you want to do a scene where you pretend to be a dog, right?
Caller: No, um…That's not what I mean. I mean, do you have…um…Do you have a dog? A real dog?
Okay, I think I was wrong about him being tame. But, oh, I really hope this isn't what I think it is. Maybe I'm being too perverse and cynical. Maybe the SPCA is his favorite charity and he's soliciting donations. Maybe he belongs to PETA and he's just checking to make sure I don't signal-whip my pets. I'm clinging, desperately, to any shred of hope that he isn't thinking what I think he's thinking.
Me: Why are you asking me this?
Caller: Well, I'm from (DELETED) and there used to be this pro dom I saw here, Mistress X.
Snarky aside: I know exactly who he means, and if he spent much time with that lady, he's lucky if he's still got a functioning dick and a viable credit rating. Permanent PMS and a shopping addiction does not a skilled Mistress make. But I had no idea she...Oh, Jesus.
Caller: And, well, she had a dog. And she used to bring it into the sessions.
Oh, this is so gross. But I can't decide whether I should just hang up now, or stay on the phone and listen to icky gossip about this other Mistress.
Me: No, I don't have a dog.
And even if I did… We're skating very close to the top of my "Eeeeuuuwwww!" list of activities. But I'm trying to stay calm, because there's no point in getting emotional with this guy.
Caller: Could you borrow one?
Okay, fuck calm. Borrow one? Borrow one? "Excuse me, Friend X, but could I take your German Shepherd out for a walk? We might be gone for a couple of hours. You haven't had him neutered yet, have you? Great."
And then they wonder why the dog has this funny look on his face when I bring him home. I'd be the Michael Jackson of the canine world. I've heard of stud animals, but this is ridiculous.
Plus, don't you have to train a dog to... I mean, humping a human's leg is one thing, but surely a dog wouldn't just... Oh, this is too gross to even think about.
Me: You know what, that's disgusting. This conversation is over, don't call me again.
Caller: No, wait, it's not what you think.
Me: You're calling a dominatrix and asking her if she has a dog she can bring into the session and you're telling me it's not what I think?
Caller: But, but - it could be a female dog!
Click. I hang up.
Ring Ring!
Me: Hello?
Caller: Um, hi…I have a strange question. I mean, you might think it's strange.
I prepare to be asked about something I think is quite normal, as that's usually how this works.
Me: What is it you'd like to know?
Caller: I saw that picture, on the other site, of the girl with the dog collar on…Do you do dog-play?
See, very tame. This guy wants to pretend he's a dog and have me put a collar on him, make him bark and spank him with a rolled-up newspaper. Hopefully he won't hump my leg, though.
Me: Sure, I do doggie role-play.
Caller: Role-play?
Me: Yes – you want to do a scene where you pretend to be a dog, right?
Caller: No, um…That's not what I mean. I mean, do you have…um…Do you have a dog? A real dog?
Okay, I think I was wrong about him being tame. But, oh, I really hope this isn't what I think it is. Maybe I'm being too perverse and cynical. Maybe the SPCA is his favorite charity and he's soliciting donations. Maybe he belongs to PETA and he's just checking to make sure I don't signal-whip my pets. I'm clinging, desperately, to any shred of hope that he isn't thinking what I think he's thinking.
Me: Why are you asking me this?
Caller: Well, I'm from (DELETED) and there used to be this pro dom I saw here, Mistress X.
Snarky aside: I know exactly who he means, and if he spent much time with that lady, he's lucky if he's still got a functioning dick and a viable credit rating. Permanent PMS and a shopping addiction does not a skilled Mistress make. But I had no idea she...Oh, Jesus.
Caller: And, well, she had a dog. And she used to bring it into the sessions.
Oh, this is so gross. But I can't decide whether I should just hang up now, or stay on the phone and listen to icky gossip about this other Mistress.
Me: No, I don't have a dog.
And even if I did… We're skating very close to the top of my "Eeeeuuuwwww!" list of activities. But I'm trying to stay calm, because there's no point in getting emotional with this guy.
Caller: Could you borrow one?
Okay, fuck calm. Borrow one? Borrow one? "Excuse me, Friend X, but could I take your German Shepherd out for a walk? We might be gone for a couple of hours. You haven't had him neutered yet, have you? Great."
And then they wonder why the dog has this funny look on his face when I bring him home. I'd be the Michael Jackson of the canine world. I've heard of stud animals, but this is ridiculous.
Plus, don't you have to train a dog to... I mean, humping a human's leg is one thing, but surely a dog wouldn't just... Oh, this is too gross to even think about.
Me: You know what, that's disgusting. This conversation is over, don't call me again.
Caller: No, wait, it's not what you think.
Me: You're calling a dominatrix and asking her if she has a dog she can bring into the session and you're telling me it's not what I think?
Caller: But, but - it could be a female dog!
Click. I hang up.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
I've been getting a little gentle fussing from some readers, lately, about my not writing as much. Have no fear, I'm not going away. But as this blog grows more popular, blogging here grows a little more challenging. There are a number of complicating factors behind the scenes, and one of those factors is the effect it's having on both my existing and my potential clientele.
This blog does attract some people to me, which was one of the reasons – although definitely not the only one - I started it. But lately I'm hearing remarks from both regular guys and potential clients that give me pause. They go along one of three lines…
From a potential client: "I can't do the kinds of things you talk about your clients doing on your blog. That's too extreme for me, so you probably don't want to see me, huh?"
Au contraire. The edgy scenes do make a compelling read. But what's true is that the gentler sessions far outnumber the more intense ones, and as long as I feel like I'm connecting with someone, I enjoy doing them. Still, the result is that now before I write, I have to weigh, "If I post about this, will I scare off guys I'd enjoy playing with?"
From a potential client: "I've been wanting to call you, but I was afraid I'd say something stupid and wind up on your blog, you know, as one of those callers."
I'm hearing this more often than I like. I even had one perfectly nice guy who, when my cell phone lost the connection, assumed I had hung up on him and sent me a sad email apologizing for not saying the right thing.
Guys, you have to be really aggressively stupid to be featured as one of those callers. Innocently inquiring about rates, hours and possible activities is perfectly appropriate, and I deal with lots of new folks who don't know quite what to say or what questions to ask. But this worries me slightly, because I definitely don't want nice, honest guys to be scared to call me.
From an existing client: "You wrote about his scene… How come you never write about our scenes? Do you like playing with him better? Do you want me to do what he does?" Yes, there's been a little jealousy/competitiveness among my A-Team boys. It's at a level that's both manageable and forgivable, but since most of my guys aren't that familiar with the concepts of polyamory, trying to explain to them how it is that I like both scenes equally is uphill work. The result: I'm less likely to write about scenes with clients, even though I have some really hot ones.
I am pleased by the fact that no one seems worried I'll "out" them. (Or at least, not that I've heard about.) I never, ever would, of course – but I can't expect them to know how very seriously I take my client's privacy.
Bottom line is: I'm having to try to adjust what I say here without losing the things about the blog that make it entertaining. That's tricky. But I'm working on it…
This blog does attract some people to me, which was one of the reasons – although definitely not the only one - I started it. But lately I'm hearing remarks from both regular guys and potential clients that give me pause. They go along one of three lines…
From a potential client: "I can't do the kinds of things you talk about your clients doing on your blog. That's too extreme for me, so you probably don't want to see me, huh?"
Au contraire. The edgy scenes do make a compelling read. But what's true is that the gentler sessions far outnumber the more intense ones, and as long as I feel like I'm connecting with someone, I enjoy doing them. Still, the result is that now before I write, I have to weigh, "If I post about this, will I scare off guys I'd enjoy playing with?"
From a potential client: "I've been wanting to call you, but I was afraid I'd say something stupid and wind up on your blog, you know, as one of those callers."
I'm hearing this more often than I like. I even had one perfectly nice guy who, when my cell phone lost the connection, assumed I had hung up on him and sent me a sad email apologizing for not saying the right thing.
Guys, you have to be really aggressively stupid to be featured as one of those callers. Innocently inquiring about rates, hours and possible activities is perfectly appropriate, and I deal with lots of new folks who don't know quite what to say or what questions to ask. But this worries me slightly, because I definitely don't want nice, honest guys to be scared to call me.
From an existing client: "You wrote about his scene… How come you never write about our scenes? Do you like playing with him better? Do you want me to do what he does?" Yes, there's been a little jealousy/competitiveness among my A-Team boys. It's at a level that's both manageable and forgivable, but since most of my guys aren't that familiar with the concepts of polyamory, trying to explain to them how it is that I like both scenes equally is uphill work. The result: I'm less likely to write about scenes with clients, even though I have some really hot ones.
I am pleased by the fact that no one seems worried I'll "out" them. (Or at least, not that I've heard about.) I never, ever would, of course – but I can't expect them to know how very seriously I take my client's privacy.
Bottom line is: I'm having to try to adjust what I say here without losing the things about the blog that make it entertaining. That's tricky. But I'm working on it…
Monday, February 28, 2005
Okay, the link to the eagerly anticipated update to The Weakest Kink Contest is posted on Roman's site. Read and enjoy...
Now, for the contestants, the next challenge:
Clothespins. One of my favorite BDSM toys, as anyone who's ever played with me can attest to. Cheap, easily available, easy to carry, and so many places to put them! Get some, if you haven't already got them. Get big ones, get small ones, wooden ones, plastic ones, metal ones - whatever suits your fancy. And put them on yourself. As many as you possibly can – in as many places are you can. If you have someone to help you, great. If not, well, do your best. Take a picture of yourself so decorated. And then, also take a picture of your skin right after you've removed the clothespins. Can we see red marks? Oooohhh. Little indentations in your skin? Double-ooooohhh.
This is going to indicate a little something to us about your ability to handle some intense sensation, so send us the pictures to show us what you can do. Roman and I will be judging based on how many you've got on, where on your body you placed them, and whether we can see marks afterwards.
Now, for the contestants, the next challenge:
Clothespins. One of my favorite BDSM toys, as anyone who's ever played with me can attest to. Cheap, easily available, easy to carry, and so many places to put them! Get some, if you haven't already got them. Get big ones, get small ones, wooden ones, plastic ones, metal ones - whatever suits your fancy. And put them on yourself. As many as you possibly can – in as many places are you can. If you have someone to help you, great. If not, well, do your best. Take a picture of yourself so decorated. And then, also take a picture of your skin right after you've removed the clothespins. Can we see red marks? Oooohhh. Little indentations in your skin? Double-ooooohhh.
This is going to indicate a little something to us about your ability to handle some intense sensation, so send us the pictures to show us what you can do. Roman and I will be judging based on how many you've got on, where on your body you placed them, and whether we can see marks afterwards.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Okay, kids, Roman is off doing the pre-Kinkfest Death March of ropemaking at the shop – complete world domination doesn't happen by itself, you know - so we're a teensy bit behind on the Weakest Kink contest update. But we do have the submissions, and woo-hoo, do we have some opinions on them. Either later today or tomorrow, I swear.
Other than that, I don't have a whole lot to say at the moment…So I'll just wave hello to some of my friends. Like the sweet foot-kissing man I met this week, who's on his way back to his native country right now. Hope you find your way to Seattle again some time…
And I'm thinking of another dear friend who's on an extended visit to yet another romantic foreign country right now – I hope the food is as delicious, the art as lovely, and the women as beautiful as they are reputed to be…See you in May!
Speaking of old friends, I will be at the Wet Spot tonight to give a big hug to a great local guy, S, who's just returned from military duty overseas. It's been a long year for him and I'm so glad he got to come home - and in one piece, no less. This guy gave a lot of parties and reached out to a lot of new kinky people here in Seattle, and that makes him a good guy in my book. Okay, sure, sometimes he reached out with a very sharp object in his hand - but hey, it was meant as a sign of affection. He's a good-hearted guy. In a sort of a nasty, twisted sort of way, y'know. And I'll always remember fondly those times he let me do sadistic electrical things to him.
He'll only in town a short while before he heads off to join his sweetie, so come out tonight if you want to see him.
Other than that, I don't have a whole lot to say at the moment…So I'll just wave hello to some of my friends. Like the sweet foot-kissing man I met this week, who's on his way back to his native country right now. Hope you find your way to Seattle again some time…
And I'm thinking of another dear friend who's on an extended visit to yet another romantic foreign country right now – I hope the food is as delicious, the art as lovely, and the women as beautiful as they are reputed to be…See you in May!
Speaking of old friends, I will be at the Wet Spot tonight to give a big hug to a great local guy, S, who's just returned from military duty overseas. It's been a long year for him and I'm so glad he got to come home - and in one piece, no less. This guy gave a lot of parties and reached out to a lot of new kinky people here in Seattle, and that makes him a good guy in my book. Okay, sure, sometimes he reached out with a very sharp object in his hand - but hey, it was meant as a sign of affection. He's a good-hearted guy. In a sort of a nasty, twisted sort of way, y'know. And I'll always remember fondly those times he let me do sadistic electrical things to him.
He'll only in town a short while before he heads off to join his sweetie, so come out tonight if you want to see him.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Oh, my god, did we get an amazing "Weakest Kink" entry from one of the contestants yesterday. Those other girls are really going to have to come up with something good to beat it...We'll post results tomorrow.
The new column and the Kink Calendar are up, so in the meantime, be amused by those. And no, none of those personal ads are direct quotes, from the Lustlab or anywhere else. I made them all up, based on conversations with friends and - unfortunately - some personal experience.
And now, I have a sweet man from a foriegn country coming over to spend some quality time kissing my feet, so if you'll excuse me...
The new column and the Kink Calendar are up, so in the meantime, be amused by those. And no, none of those personal ads are direct quotes, from the Lustlab or anywhere else. I made them all up, based on conversations with friends and - unfortunately - some personal experience.
And now, I have a sweet man from a foriegn country coming over to spend some quality time kissing my feet, so if you'll excuse me...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
More work with doorways. I have jokingly referred to this image as, "The X-Files photo", because I used to be a fan of the show, and to me it kinda has that, "Here come the aliens!" look to it. Other people have commented that it suggests someone praying. Depends on your point of view, I suppose.
Self-portrait from 2002. Digital capture with one tungsten spot, and sepia toning added in PS.
In other news...a cute kinky story by Liss about her adventures with a creative top. I was at this party - you should've asked me to X you, Liss. I'd of been nice. Really. Hey, stop laughing!
Self-portrait from 2002. Digital capture with one tungsten spot, and sepia toning added in PS.
In other news...a cute kinky story by Liss about her adventures with a creative top. I was at this party - you should've asked me to X you, Liss. I'd of been nice. Really. Hey, stop laughing!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Girly Fashion Stuff
I'm in love. Or at least, deeply in lust. And who can blame me, with such sexy Spaniards like this around?
#9674, Itali Negro Rock Negro, Malicia Tacon Acero. Even the name sounds sexy. I'm lusting from afar for today, but I really don't know if I'll be able to restrain my passion...
I'm in pre-KinkFest shopping mode, you see - it's only two weeks away! On Monday, I went over to see Rose, of Imp Of Satan to order some new tight-n-shiny clothes. She does such great work, and it's so nice to have her right in the neighborhood. She's going to make me some yummy blue PVC pants and a matching top, with black mesh insets down the sides. While I do wear fairly traditional fetish outfits when I'm in my dungeon, for social events these days I'm drawn to fetishwear that looks sort of like Italian motorcycle gear, or like it might have been designed by Nike. Something different - you don't want to go to a conference and be one of seventeen women in a room all wearing a corset, miniskirt and thigh-high boots. Oh, the horror!
Rose makes all kinds of fetishwear, but one of her specialties is catsuits. Now, I'm generally of the opinion that catsuits look best on taller people - say, five-foot-eight or better. (Although I did see a small woman at a party recently wearing a bright red catsuit by Rose, and she looked smashing.) However, Max decided he liked the idea of me in a black catsuit, so we bought one of those, too. I have to say, while I still don't think it's my absolute best look, Rose's catsuit makes me look far better than any other catsuit I've ever tried on. That's talent.
My other fashion designer friend, Orion, is also making me an outfit, so I went fabric-shopping for that - and naturally would up buying a ton of stuff, enough for three or four pieces. But it's gotten so I hate buying fetishwear off the rack, because most of it is so badly made, and so wildly overpriced for what it is, that it just drives me mad. So, custom-made is the only way to go. I see that another local girl I know, Tonya Winter, is doing custom latex clothing, I should think about getting something from her sometime.
Now if I just knew a shoe-store owner, I'd be all set...
I'm in love. Or at least, deeply in lust. And who can blame me, with such sexy Spaniards like this around?
#9674, Itali Negro Rock Negro, Malicia Tacon Acero. Even the name sounds sexy. I'm lusting from afar for today, but I really don't know if I'll be able to restrain my passion...
I'm in pre-KinkFest shopping mode, you see - it's only two weeks away! On Monday, I went over to see Rose, of Imp Of Satan to order some new tight-n-shiny clothes. She does such great work, and it's so nice to have her right in the neighborhood. She's going to make me some yummy blue PVC pants and a matching top, with black mesh insets down the sides. While I do wear fairly traditional fetish outfits when I'm in my dungeon, for social events these days I'm drawn to fetishwear that looks sort of like Italian motorcycle gear, or like it might have been designed by Nike. Something different - you don't want to go to a conference and be one of seventeen women in a room all wearing a corset, miniskirt and thigh-high boots. Oh, the horror!
Rose makes all kinds of fetishwear, but one of her specialties is catsuits. Now, I'm generally of the opinion that catsuits look best on taller people - say, five-foot-eight or better. (Although I did see a small woman at a party recently wearing a bright red catsuit by Rose, and she looked smashing.) However, Max decided he liked the idea of me in a black catsuit, so we bought one of those, too. I have to say, while I still don't think it's my absolute best look, Rose's catsuit makes me look far better than any other catsuit I've ever tried on. That's talent.
My other fashion designer friend, Orion, is also making me an outfit, so I went fabric-shopping for that - and naturally would up buying a ton of stuff, enough for three or four pieces. But it's gotten so I hate buying fetishwear off the rack, because most of it is so badly made, and so wildly overpriced for what it is, that it just drives me mad. So, custom-made is the only way to go. I see that another local girl I know, Tonya Winter, is doing custom latex clothing, I should think about getting something from her sometime.
Now if I just knew a shoe-store owner, I'd be all set...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Greatest Hits
Congratulate me. I've now been blogging, quite steadily, for just over one year. I think that's an accomplishment.
For those of you who are new around here and haven't gone all the way back through the archives, I've picked out some of the best/most popular entries. ("Most popular" being gauged by the number, and the passion, of the comments.) I only went up to January of 2005, because even if you just this minute found me, you should at least have read back a few weeks.
Opinions, experiences, and general musings on life
Human Interest Story
Thoughts On Being A Pretty Girl (This may well have been the most controversial post I've written.)
BDSM Word Of The Day
Mr. Defensive
Open Secret
The Sixty Four Thousand Dollar Question (The other "Most Controversial" candidate.)
and the follow-up post: Comments On Female Clients
What I'm Not
Word Whores: The "Not My Dog" post
Poly Stars In Alignment
Public Encounter
You Dirty...
French Farce Weekend
About Max:
Fifth Anniversary
More About Max
About Roman:
The Naked Truth
He's Just A...
Playing with my boys:
Flying High Again
My Idea of a Good Time
Conversations about the biz:
Advice on Clients
More Advice
Dinner with Miss K: Furniture Fantasy
Conversation with Miss K: Her Weird Phone Calls
And, everyone's favorite category: Strange Communiqués From People: The phone calls, the emails, and the voicemails.
The Thirty Seconds Rule
Near Goddess Experience
Sexual Darwinism
And This Would Be My Problem Why?
Legend In His Own Mind
New Cell Phone - Old Memories
New York State Of Mind
Master and Commander
Weirdass Email Of The Week
Phone Messages
I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up
From The Malebag
More Email Silliness
Freakazoids
Congratulate me. I've now been blogging, quite steadily, for just over one year. I think that's an accomplishment.
For those of you who are new around here and haven't gone all the way back through the archives, I've picked out some of the best/most popular entries. ("Most popular" being gauged by the number, and the passion, of the comments.) I only went up to January of 2005, because even if you just this minute found me, you should at least have read back a few weeks.
Opinions, experiences, and general musings on life
Human Interest Story
Thoughts On Being A Pretty Girl (This may well have been the most controversial post I've written.)
BDSM Word Of The Day
Mr. Defensive
Open Secret
The Sixty Four Thousand Dollar Question (The other "Most Controversial" candidate.)
and the follow-up post: Comments On Female Clients
What I'm Not
Word Whores: The "Not My Dog" post
Poly Stars In Alignment
Public Encounter
You Dirty...
French Farce Weekend
About Max:
Fifth Anniversary
More About Max
About Roman:
The Naked Truth
He's Just A...
Playing with my boys:
Flying High Again
My Idea of a Good Time
Conversations about the biz:
Advice on Clients
More Advice
Dinner with Miss K: Furniture Fantasy
Conversation with Miss K: Her Weird Phone Calls
And, everyone's favorite category: Strange Communiqués From People: The phone calls, the emails, and the voicemails.
The Thirty Seconds Rule
Near Goddess Experience
Sexual Darwinism
And This Would Be My Problem Why?
Legend In His Own Mind
New Cell Phone - Old Memories
New York State Of Mind
Master and Commander
Weirdass Email Of The Week
Phone Messages
I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up
From The Malebag
More Email Silliness
Freakazoids
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Okay, so now that Roman has posted the results of "The Weakest Kink: Week One", I will issue the next challenge to our remaining contestants...
Go to a pet store that does custom pet tags and get a pet tag cut with a name you'd like Roman and I to call you by. Could be your real name, if you want. But it could a play name - perhaps something more...creative. Or it could be your name, plus a descriptive phrase of some sort. Like, "Ann - the little pain slut". How bold can you be in a Petco?
We'll want to see a picture of it, obviously, and make sure we can read the inscription. Happy shopping!
Go to a pet store that does custom pet tags and get a pet tag cut with a name you'd like Roman and I to call you by. Could be your real name, if you want. But it could a play name - perhaps something more...creative. Or it could be your name, plus a descriptive phrase of some sort. Like, "Ann - the little pain slut". How bold can you be in a Petco?
We'll want to see a picture of it, obviously, and make sure we can read the inscription. Happy shopping!
All About Kissing
I kissed fifty-eight people in two hours at the Kink Carnival last night. That's definitely some kind of record for me. And I'm quite sure I wouldn't care to try and beat it, because I was wiped out afterwards. I'm still a little wiped.
Some of you wrote to me asking why I was in a Kissing Booth, and not, say, a Spanking Booth. Well, there's a bit of history there. Aiden, the extremely cute tranny boy who's one of the Kink Carnival organizers, is an old friend and lover of mine, and he and I did a Kissing Booth one time before, years ago, at a Gay Pride event. (This was when Aiden was still living as female.) We had a good time with it then, so he thought it would be fun for us to do it together again. I agreed, and without really examining the idea too much, I also made the assumption that this would be a somewhat similar experience.
Wrong.
When Max and I arrived, the event was jam-packed - you could hardly move in there. It looked like everyone was having fun, though. We did a loop of all the different booths, talked to some friends, and then I dropped Max off at the Bondage Booth and made my way to the Kissing Booth. And pretty much as soon as I got there, it got busy. I thought, based on my previous experience with Aiden, that it would be slower paced. But it wasn't, it was two hours of non-stop sexual performance, changing partners every two minutes. And yeah, I can do that - but it takes a lot of energy, and I was exhausted afterwards.
Max was quite busy over in the Bondage Booth, too. Several people came up to me with rope on them and said "Look, look, Max tied me up!" It was very cute.
And a lot of the people themselves were very cute. I had several couples who both wanted kisses – that was sweet. There were some sexy boys, some of whom kissed my boots and my latex-pants-covered ass as well as my lips. There were several women who said they hadn't ever kissed another woman before - that was fun. Love to cherry-pop.
And there were some very pretty girls who clearly had kissed other girls before, including a pair of sweet young things who both kissed me so sweetly and passionately that I almost tied them up and took them home with me. Mmmmnn…
But, wow, it was just very intense. I had people waiting in line most of the time, and when they were shutting down the event at 10, people were still hovering around with tickets in their hands, looking at me hopefully. Aiden had to shoo them off. Crazy. It's sort of flattering at some level. But tiring.
We went over to a friend's party afterwards and I got a nice back and neck massage from Malixe, who gives the best massages, and put my head in pretty women's laps, and watched other people do mean things. That was nice.
And today I'm going to go lie on the couch, and later, Roman is going to come over and bring me Chinese food. That's about the extent of what I have planned. Mellow.
I kissed fifty-eight people in two hours at the Kink Carnival last night. That's definitely some kind of record for me. And I'm quite sure I wouldn't care to try and beat it, because I was wiped out afterwards. I'm still a little wiped.
Some of you wrote to me asking why I was in a Kissing Booth, and not, say, a Spanking Booth. Well, there's a bit of history there. Aiden, the extremely cute tranny boy who's one of the Kink Carnival organizers, is an old friend and lover of mine, and he and I did a Kissing Booth one time before, years ago, at a Gay Pride event. (This was when Aiden was still living as female.) We had a good time with it then, so he thought it would be fun for us to do it together again. I agreed, and without really examining the idea too much, I also made the assumption that this would be a somewhat similar experience.
Wrong.
When Max and I arrived, the event was jam-packed - you could hardly move in there. It looked like everyone was having fun, though. We did a loop of all the different booths, talked to some friends, and then I dropped Max off at the Bondage Booth and made my way to the Kissing Booth. And pretty much as soon as I got there, it got busy. I thought, based on my previous experience with Aiden, that it would be slower paced. But it wasn't, it was two hours of non-stop sexual performance, changing partners every two minutes. And yeah, I can do that - but it takes a lot of energy, and I was exhausted afterwards.
Max was quite busy over in the Bondage Booth, too. Several people came up to me with rope on them and said "Look, look, Max tied me up!" It was very cute.
And a lot of the people themselves were very cute. I had several couples who both wanted kisses – that was sweet. There were some sexy boys, some of whom kissed my boots and my latex-pants-covered ass as well as my lips. There were several women who said they hadn't ever kissed another woman before - that was fun. Love to cherry-pop.
And there were some very pretty girls who clearly had kissed other girls before, including a pair of sweet young things who both kissed me so sweetly and passionately that I almost tied them up and took them home with me. Mmmmnn…
But, wow, it was just very intense. I had people waiting in line most of the time, and when they were shutting down the event at 10, people were still hovering around with tickets in their hands, looking at me hopefully. Aiden had to shoo them off. Crazy. It's sort of flattering at some level. But tiring.
We went over to a friend's party afterwards and I got a nice back and neck massage from Malixe, who gives the best massages, and put my head in pretty women's laps, and watched other people do mean things. That was nice.
And today I'm going to go lie on the couch, and later, Roman is going to come over and bring me Chinese food. That's about the extent of what I have planned. Mellow.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Okay, I'll tell. Several of you did guess, or reason it out, correctly. There is just one model - me.
I did this self-portrait by putting two long skinny mirrors into a V-shape, I arranged myself with my feet in the point of the V, I reached out and hit the shutter button (with the ten-second-timer already engaged), and then I arranged my head and arms. There are so many of me because the mirrors are reflecting both the original me and the reflections of me, if that makes sense.
I had no idea exactly what this shot would look like, but I figured it would be interesting. The lights were brighter than I'd wanted, but it kinda worked out okay.
Taken in 2001, I believe, with the Nikon digital.
I think there will be a post later today about the next challenge for The Weakest Kink contestants, and you should check Roman's blog for updates on who we kicked off the island.
But I am planning on spending some quality time at the gym this afternoon, before going and being all sexy tonight - to someone else's financial benefit, for a change. Not only will I be in The Kissing Booth this evening, Max got a last-minute plea to be in The Bondage Booth. All this at The Kinky Carnival - so drop by, get tied up by him and smooched by me, between 8pm-10pm.
Also, for your reading pleasure: The newest column and the Kink Calendar are up...
I did this self-portrait by putting two long skinny mirrors into a V-shape, I arranged myself with my feet in the point of the V, I reached out and hit the shutter button (with the ten-second-timer already engaged), and then I arranged my head and arms. There are so many of me because the mirrors are reflecting both the original me and the reflections of me, if that makes sense.
I had no idea exactly what this shot would look like, but I figured it would be interesting. The lights were brighter than I'd wanted, but it kinda worked out okay.
Taken in 2001, I believe, with the Nikon digital.
I think there will be a post later today about the next challenge for The Weakest Kink contestants, and you should check Roman's blog for updates on who we kicked off the island.
But I am planning on spending some quality time at the gym this afternoon, before going and being all sexy tonight - to someone else's financial benefit, for a change. Not only will I be in The Kissing Booth this evening, Max got a last-minute plea to be in The Bondage Booth. All this at The Kinky Carnival - so drop by, get tied up by him and smooched by me, between 8pm-10pm.
Also, for your reading pleasure: The newest column and the Kink Calendar are up...
Friday, February 18, 2005
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Ring Ring!
Me: Hello?
Caller: Is this Mistress Matisse?
Me: Yes, it is.
Caller: Well, Mistress, I just wanted to apologize to you. I mean, you don't know me, I live in Texas - but I feel I've been very disrespectful of you.
Hmmnn….I have a feeling this guy's about to launch into some kind of emotional manipulation game. I tend to chew through such attempts like Pac-Man chewed through those little balls, but let's give him the traditional thirty seconds to see where he takes it.
Me: I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.
Caller: Well, you know your website? I found it a few months ago, and I've been looking at it a lot ever since. At the pictures of you, I mean. And, (pauses) I've been…I've been…thinking inappropriate thoughts.
I don't say anything.
Caller: I mean, sexual thoughts. About you, Mistress. I know that's very wrong of me. I know you wouldn't want me to do that, it's very disrespectful.
I still don't say anything. I see what he's doing – he wants me to scold him and tell him what a bad, bad boy he is. But I didn't consent to this little scene, and I'm damn sure not getting paid for it. So I'm simply not going to give him the response he's hoping for.
Me: Mmmmnnn.
Caller: And Mistress, I have to confess something else. I didn't just think…I, I touched myself. I mean, I stroked myself. My penis, I mean.
Oh, well, that's a huge shock, now isn't it? Imagine, someone masturbating to pictures on the internet. Who knew such things happened?
Frankly, I don't care if this guy is wanking off to my pictures every ten minutes. They're supposed to get people excited, that's why they're there. I don't care if his keyboard is so sticky that he types the entire alphabet every time he touches a key. But I'm not interested in hearing about it, and he's clearly not going to stop of his own accord, so it's time to wrap this up.
Me: You know what? This whole conversation is inappropriate. You need to stop talking to me about this, and –
Caller: Oh, Mistress, I'm so sorry! I've offended you, I'm such a bad boy, please, Mistress, I'm so sorry!
Me: Stop talking! I'm going to hang up, and I don't want you to call me again.
Caller: Mistress, please, I'm sorry –
Click. I hang up.
Jesus, I hope this doesn't catch on. If everyone who's ever jacked off to a picture of me calls to tell me about that, my cell minutes are going to go through the roof.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Is this Mistress Matisse?
Me: Yes, it is.
Caller: Well, Mistress, I just wanted to apologize to you. I mean, you don't know me, I live in Texas - but I feel I've been very disrespectful of you.
Hmmnn….I have a feeling this guy's about to launch into some kind of emotional manipulation game. I tend to chew through such attempts like Pac-Man chewed through those little balls, but let's give him the traditional thirty seconds to see where he takes it.
Me: I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.
Caller: Well, you know your website? I found it a few months ago, and I've been looking at it a lot ever since. At the pictures of you, I mean. And, (pauses) I've been…I've been…thinking inappropriate thoughts.
I don't say anything.
Caller: I mean, sexual thoughts. About you, Mistress. I know that's very wrong of me. I know you wouldn't want me to do that, it's very disrespectful.
I still don't say anything. I see what he's doing – he wants me to scold him and tell him what a bad, bad boy he is. But I didn't consent to this little scene, and I'm damn sure not getting paid for it. So I'm simply not going to give him the response he's hoping for.
Me: Mmmmnnn.
Caller: And Mistress, I have to confess something else. I didn't just think…I, I touched myself. I mean, I stroked myself. My penis, I mean.
Oh, well, that's a huge shock, now isn't it? Imagine, someone masturbating to pictures on the internet. Who knew such things happened?
Frankly, I don't care if this guy is wanking off to my pictures every ten minutes. They're supposed to get people excited, that's why they're there. I don't care if his keyboard is so sticky that he types the entire alphabet every time he touches a key. But I'm not interested in hearing about it, and he's clearly not going to stop of his own accord, so it's time to wrap this up.
Me: You know what? This whole conversation is inappropriate. You need to stop talking to me about this, and –
Caller: Oh, Mistress, I'm so sorry! I've offended you, I'm such a bad boy, please, Mistress, I'm so sorry!
Me: Stop talking! I'm going to hang up, and I don't want you to call me again.
Caller: Mistress, please, I'm sorry –
Click. I hang up.
Jesus, I hope this doesn't catch on. If everyone who's ever jacked off to a picture of me calls to tell me about that, my cell minutes are going to go through the roof.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
This and that...
This seems like poetic justice somehow: Prostitution Vigilante Hooked For Pimping. What an asshole. (Link snagged via Daze Reader)
Interesting "Poly Contract" written up by one couple. Max and I definitely don't do everything the way they do – which is only to be expected. But this piece would certainly provide some food for discussion in any couple considering poly.
The Stranger is looking for a woman to blog about her sex life - and they'll pay you. But only for a month.
And speaking of sexy blogs, the intrepid Candy Girl did indeed post about her recent scene with Max.
Not kinky but interesting: From Gawker Media, the site LifeHacker, which promises to, "saucily decipher the latest in personal productivity technology and reveal the million ways hardware and software can improve our busy lives." God knows I could use some help, given that I'm only modestly techie.
Oh, a social note for the Seattle folks. Want to kiss me? I'll be in the Kissing Booth at the Wild At Heart Kinky Carnival this Saturday from 8-10pm. Check out the website for more details…
...Addendum: Rossi has posted her half of the double-suspension story...
This seems like poetic justice somehow: Prostitution Vigilante Hooked For Pimping. What an asshole. (Link snagged via Daze Reader)
Interesting "Poly Contract" written up by one couple. Max and I definitely don't do everything the way they do – which is only to be expected. But this piece would certainly provide some food for discussion in any couple considering poly.
The Stranger is looking for a woman to blog about her sex life - and they'll pay you. But only for a month.
And speaking of sexy blogs, the intrepid Candy Girl did indeed post about her recent scene with Max.
Not kinky but interesting: From Gawker Media, the site LifeHacker, which promises to, "saucily decipher the latest in personal productivity technology and reveal the million ways hardware and software can improve our busy lives." God knows I could use some help, given that I'm only modestly techie.
Oh, a social note for the Seattle folks. Want to kiss me? I'll be in the Kissing Booth at the Wild At Heart Kinky Carnival this Saturday from 8-10pm. Check out the website for more details…
...Addendum: Rossi has posted her half of the double-suspension story...
Monday, February 14, 2005
Great class this weekend. Great party last night. And I'm hoping someone else blogs about Max's double-inverted-suspension scene, so I can be lazy and just link to it, because the last two days have been completely non-stop, and I'm feeling rather weary.
Now it's Monday again, and I've got a busy day at the dungeon, and then a date with a treadmill at Gold's, and then, hopefully, a short romantic interlude with Max, before I start working on the Stranger column. Now, I generally regard "Valentine's Day" as nothing but crassly commercialist crap, cooked up by Madison Ave to sell useless, tacky chatchkes. I don't need Hallmark to tell me when to feel lovey-dovey, thankyouverymuch.
But romantic interludes with Max are always a good thing. However, that means no long post today. Perhaps tomorrow - if I'm feeling caught up with my life.
Now it's Monday again, and I've got a busy day at the dungeon, and then a date with a treadmill at Gold's, and then, hopefully, a short romantic interlude with Max, before I start working on the Stranger column. Now, I generally regard "Valentine's Day" as nothing but crassly commercialist crap, cooked up by Madison Ave to sell useless, tacky chatchkes. I don't need Hallmark to tell me when to feel lovey-dovey, thankyouverymuch.
But romantic interludes with Max are always a good thing. However, that means no long post today. Perhaps tomorrow - if I'm feeling caught up with my life.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Roman has put up the page showing all the contestants, so that means it's time for: This Week's Challenge to The Weakest Kink Contestants!
This week, we want to see how creative and imaginative you can be about BDSM. So here's the challenge. Take five dollars, no more than that, and go buy the most interesting pervertible you can find. Take a picture of it and send it to use along with a description of how it would be used in BDSM play. Ideally, it should be something you can imagine being used on you.
Some of you may be thinking, "What the hell is a pervertible?" So glad you asked. The term "pervertible", coined by leather activist David Stein, is used to describe objects intended for some non-sexual use, especially everyday household objects, that can nonetheless be appropriated for BDSM play. I wrote a column about this once.
However, the pervertibles I mention there, while fun, are rather obvious. Roman and I would like to see something…different. But don't go thinking you can go buy any old thing and claim it's a BDSM toy. If Roman and I aren’t convinced of it's pervertability, we will have to see some pictures of it in action. And if you wind up winning – well, expect to have your pervertible used on you, by us. So be sincere in your toy shopping, and may the nastiest mind win!
This week, we want to see how creative and imaginative you can be about BDSM. So here's the challenge. Take five dollars, no more than that, and go buy the most interesting pervertible you can find. Take a picture of it and send it to use along with a description of how it would be used in BDSM play. Ideally, it should be something you can imagine being used on you.
Some of you may be thinking, "What the hell is a pervertible?" So glad you asked. The term "pervertible", coined by leather activist David Stein, is used to describe objects intended for some non-sexual use, especially everyday household objects, that can nonetheless be appropriated for BDSM play. I wrote a column about this once.
However, the pervertibles I mention there, while fun, are rather obvious. Roman and I would like to see something…different. But don't go thinking you can go buy any old thing and claim it's a BDSM toy. If Roman and I aren’t convinced of it's pervertability, we will have to see some pictures of it in action. And if you wind up winning – well, expect to have your pervertible used on you, by us. So be sincere in your toy shopping, and may the nastiest mind win!
Friday, February 11, 2005
Well, after a fun date with Roman last night, we're getting ready to post the first round of "The Weakest Kink" contest info. So look for that quite soon.
Meanwhile, the new column and the Kink Calendar are up, so check those out…Fans of my weirdo-callers entries will enjoy the column particularly.
And here's something I enjoyed reading...It's presented as some advice for writers, but I think parts of it are actually applicable to many life-situations. Certainly I intend to steal some of it for my future "advice to aspiring pro dommes" rants.
Meanwhile, the new column and the Kink Calendar are up, so check those out…Fans of my weirdo-callers entries will enjoy the column particularly.
And here's something I enjoyed reading...It's presented as some advice for writers, but I think parts of it are actually applicable to many life-situations. Certainly I intend to steal some of it for my future "advice to aspiring pro dommes" rants.
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